


Afire Love

by ramonamano



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Green Arrow - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Summer of Olicity, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-03-31 17:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 34,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3985870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramonamano/pseuds/ramonamano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They left Starling City for a reason. To find out who Oliver really was now that the Arrow was gone. Felicity expects this trip to turn in another life and death mission, but she is wrong. At least she thought so. Un unexpected turn of events will decide what will happen next with their lifes. But then something happens and she realises that she wasn't wrong at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It has been two months since they left Starling City and everything in it. The danger and the threats were now gone with Ra’s death and the League having Malcolm Merlyn as the new leader. At least for now. Felicity wasn’t completely sure what the mass murderer psychopath was planning for their upcoming future, but at this time her mind was filled with happier thoughts.

When they left, Oliver kept the destination secret, leaving her in the dark about the true purpose of that unexpected trip to nowhere. She knew there had to be more than just an adventure for two where Oliver would eventually find out who he really was, now that the Arrow was dead. Actually, not quite dead. He faked his death. I mean they faked his death. And it wasn’t even the Arrow’s death. It was Arsenal’s. Who was alive. Because they faked it. Oh god, Felicity thought, I can even babble in my mind. I really have to stop doing that, she continued scolding herself.

But as it turned out, they finally arrived in Coast City and she could have bet at that time that they were about to meet with an old friend of Oliver’s and then get themselves into a very ugly problem. As always.

Instead, the only person they met in the next couple of weeks was the receptionist of the five stars Diamond Coast Hotel and the only thing they got themselves into was an enormous hotel room. Which Felicity hadn’t had time to even give it a better look before Oliver lifted her up seconds after entering it. Not that she was complaining. His hands were then on her waist, not to keep her up- her legs wrapped around his middle and her arms around his neck where enough for that. They were there because he wanted them to be, and God, she wanted them even more. He was holding her just as he did that night in Nanda Parbat. But instead of passionately kissing her, he held her gaze as he walked towards the bed. His eyes held every emotion he kept himself from showing in the last year.

They shared that one night in the league’s chamber but this, this was different. There was no rush nor danger obliging them to get most of the night. And in her mind there was no plan of how she could get Oliver drugged and everybody out safe and alive. No, all she could think about was the emotions in his beautiful blue eyes. Love, astonishment and most of all, desire were flouting out with such intensity, she felt her heart growing and blustering to get out of her chest. 

As he reached the bed and sat both of them down on it, with her on his lap, his hands moved from her waist to her arms and then slowly started taking her white jacket off. She stayed still till he finished and then she did the same with his leather jacket. Her glasses were next. This time she was the one throwing them away because his hands were too busy lifting her green shirt. She wanted to get rid of his too but as soon as she saw the look on his face when she was left just with her bra, she stopped. It wasn’t the first time he saw her like that but the look he had made her cheeks get red. She was about to say something to ease herself of the tension but then his lips were all over hers and his hands cupped her face and she forgot everything that was on her mind till then. 

It was the first time they kissed since she left him in Nanda Parbat and she wasn’t exactly sure how she succeeded to survive all those weeks with just the memory of it. It felt as if she was able to breathe fresh air again after drowning for a very long time. And she realized he felt the same because all the tension in his arms eased and he broke the kiss to let out a breath of relief. She opened her eyes and locked them on his trying with all her being to tell him everything she had to tell and was afraid of saying out loud because of her babbling and no-filter brain. 

But then she realized she couldn’t tell him with her eyes that she really needed to take a shower before continuing what they were about to continue. They’ve been on an 8 hour drive and she forgot to wear deodorant.

Of all the things, she forgot the deodorant. Couldn’t she have forgotten anything else. The deodorant had to be the one? And oh my god, she’s been naked on his lap for some time. And she must’ve been stinking.

“What’s wrong?” Oliver asked, sensing her mood change, a frown appearing between his eyebrows. 

“Deodorant." 

"What?" 

"I forgot to wear deodorant and we’ve been on an 8 hour drive and I forgot to wear deodorant” she explained trying to get off of his lap. 

“Felicity…” he said holding her in place, a smile appearing on his face.

“I have to take a shower.”

“No, you don’t." 

"Yes, I do. I probably stink. More than probably actually” she continued and tried once again to get away from him. 

“Fe-li-ci-ty” he said bringing her even closer to him till their chests were touching.“You smell good. Amazing even” he started calming her which was not helping.“Stop worrying” and with that he leaned closer and started kissing her neck. Okay, she thought, this helps. A lot actually. 

But then his hands moved to remove his own shirt revealing his perfectly worked out body. How could she still lose her senses after seeing him shirtless multiple times already? Shirtless all the time. 

She raised her hand and touched lightly where the bratva star tattoo was. He left a growl escape his throat and then she raised her eyes to his only to be taken aback once more when he stood up, holding her still and then letting her down on her back on the bed with him above her. 

The floor kept on filling with their clothes until there was nothing left other than skin covered in sheets and hands finding their right places.

The passion that followed kept them awake till the sun decided to set and they finally came to the agreement that rest was needed for the both of them.

And then sleep came with his arms holding her close as her head rested on his chest. It was the most perfect thing in the world and she believed she could stay like that forever. Next to him. That was the way she wanted to stay for the rest of her life. Next to the man she loved.

“I love you” he whispered then in her hair, mirroring her thoughts. It was a barely heard sound, his voice hushed off by the tiredness.

Her heart skipped a beat. It was so simple and true her vision became blurry, tears threatening to come out. It was just the fact that they could now say that out of nowhere without any reason at all. It was perfect.

“I love you too” she responded turning her head to see his face. He was asleep and all his features looked peaceful. She smiled and then returned to her initial position letting sleep take over her too.

The next morning came and she woke up feeling rays of sunshine warming her back. During night they both changed positions and ended up on their sides facing each other. He was still sleeping with one arm around her pillow and the other on her waist. 

I can get used to this, she thought smiling to herself while touching his cheek. She expected him to open his eyes in an alert and * way but instead he just smiled. 

“Morning” he said opening his eyes to look at her. 

I so can get used to this, she thought again.

“Me too” he told her and she realised she said that out loud. But it didn’t bother her. That was a thing worth saying and he deserved to hear it. Especially after last night.

“How was your sleep?” she asked him.

“Dreamless” he answered simply but she knew he wanted to say more so she waiting for him to continue. “The first time in ages that I really got to sleep the whole night. No nightmares or dreams to wake me up in the middle of the night.”

She smiled and stood up bringing the sheets to her chest. 

“Thank you” he then said. 

“For what?”

“For being here with me, for believing in me, loving me, saving me, for everything” he said in a breath and she looked at him having no idea what to say in response. ‘You’re welcome’ didn’t sound like the best reply. So she just smiled and lowered her head to kiss him.

And she did got used to that. In the next few weeks, they just slept, made love and when especially necessary, ordered room service because going out to eat every time they were hungry meant they had to wear clothes and it was so much better not to. 

After a while they changed the hotel and decided it was time to see the city. So they found time in their schedule to go to a fancy restaurant or see a movie. They did things normal couples would do. Things she never thought she’ll have the chance to do with him and she enjoyed every moment of them. 

And then one morning she woke up to one of the worst nausea she’s ever had. Good thing the bathroom was closer to her side of the bed. She blamed the Thai food they had last night, which she was completely sure had peanuts in it. She hated peanuts at that moment more than ever. 

But the same thing happened again the next morning, and the morning after that and in short time she realized something was wrong. Her period was late, but it wasn’t like the first time that happened. And she was taking her pill every day since they left. Or did she forget one day to take it? Could this happen? She kept asking herself. 

It hadn’t taken Oliver much till he realized something was wrong. And Felicity had to use a lot of conviction and reassurances that it was just the flu so he would not drag her to the nearest hospital to find out what was wrong with her. 

And after that she waited. Maybe it truly was the flu and him not taking it meant one of two things. One, he was immune to it as well. Two, it was not the flu.

But now she knew that even if Oliver was immune to the Alfa and Omega Bio weapon, he wasn’t to the flu. At least not to the flu she had. Or at least not for another eight months.

Felicity found out yesterday. They just left Coast City and at the first gas station he stopped she told him she needed to buy some snacks for the road. But instead she brought a pregnancy test and in the next 15 minutes she knew. 

If Oliver sensed something wrong with her mood, he didn’t say and she was grateful. She needed some time to process it before telling him. And she didn’t even know how to tell him. How will he react? Will he be happy about it? Was she happy about it? She wasn’t sure of any of those things. Not even now when she was about to tell him. 

They were near Los Angeles now. The sun just rose and their car was the only one on the highway. Oliver stopped on the hard shoulder near the ocean with the excuse of stretching themselves. After all, he said, they’ve been driving all night. Or at least he did, she slept most of the trip.

The sunrise was incredibly beautiful. It held the begging of a new day and the promise of a wonderful weather. And she hoped to enjoy it even if she had no idea what was going to happen. 

“Oliver-” she started turning from the sun to face him, but he was already there, in front of her. For a moment there she lost her words. How had she again planned to tell him? “I… I have something to… to confess” she continued babbling in a way she rarely did. Usually the words would come out in a storm, never letting space for someone else to comment. But now she couldn’t find them, or at least use them correctly and fluently.

“I know” he said simply and when she raised her eyes to see the smile and happiness written all over his face.

“What?” she couldn’t believe her ears. How did he know? How was that possible? “How?” was all she felt able to ask.

“You really believe I didn’t notice your morning sickness for the last 3 weeks, or the fact that you are craving mint chips all the time and you feel tired more easily." 

It was all an affirmation, not a question. She felt her stomach drop. He knew. All this time. He knew. 

"Why didn’t you say a thing? I’ve been melting my brain here since I found out. And it was yesterday. How could you not tell me a thing???” She asked in disbelieve.

“I waited for you to tell me. And you didn’t seem ready at all. You still don’t” he said bringing his arms around her.

“But you knew…”

"Yes. And I thought you wanted to wait more to tell me. Actually I was relying on that. I didn’t want to ask it with you thinking the reason was this" he said and looked down at her belly. “Which is not. I wanted to do this for a long time now but I just couldn’t find the right moment or place or the right way to do it-”

“Oliver, what are you doing?” Felicity asked but she knew the answer already. Her eyes grew bigger at the realisation that this was actually happening. 

Oliver didn’t answer at first. He didn’t answer at all. He took a step back and with his hand he brought a little black box from the back poket of his jeans. He fell to one knee taking one of her hands in his free one. She just couldn’t believe what was happening. He looked so happy and confident of what he was about to do, it melted her heart. Her legs were spaghetti and her brain was trying to process everything on turbo speed to keep up. Everything was getting her so dizzy.

“Felicity Megan Smoak, will you marry me and make me the happiest man on earth?”

And as he asked he opened up the box to reveal a beautiful silver ring in shape of an arrow pointing a stone. A diamond. A green diamond. 

She raised her other hand to her mouth to stop the sob that threatened to escape. She never thought this will happen. Yes, they were a couple and yes, they loved each other with all their beings, but this, marriage, was a whole new territory and it was as frightening as thrilling. But she did want to spend all her days with him, to be always by his side, to be his anchor and he hers, to be the person he confessed everything to. The person that would make him happy for all of their mortal eternity. She wanted all of those things and so much more.

A shade of worry passed his face and she realised she only said that in her head. Stupid brain, why was it doing everything exactly the opposite way? She took her hand away from her mouth and as tears began to form in her eyes, she whispered:

“Yes.”

A barely heard sound which he understood anyway because in a moment he took the ring from the box and placed it on her left hand, and in the next he was back on his feet kissing her as if there was nothing else he would better do on the entire planet. And maybe there wasn’t. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he held her tighter to his chest. This was what she wanted because this was right.

“So I guess now this means we are heading to Vegas?” he asked on her lips.

“Yes, but not for what you think. I’m not wedding you in Vegas. Thea would kill us both. And Dig is already mad at you, you don’t want him even madder” she said and he laughed sourly.

“You’re right. But the fact that we’re bringing Sara a future playmate, I think will sweeten his heart a little bit.”

“Maybe” she said imagining little Sara playing with their child. She laughed to herself. “Till then, we still have to go to Vegas. My mother will be so delighted to hear the news. I think she’s been waiting for this since she first saw you.”

“Your mother waited for this since last year?” he asked with astonishment and amusement all over his face.

“Yeah, she said something about me lighting up like a Christmas tree when you walk in the room” she said watching how his eyes grew smaller and the love filling them. “Too bad she wasn’t around you when I entered the room. I am curious what analogy she would use then, but I think I’ve already got a pretty good idea” she finished climbing on her toes to kiss him. And it was perfect. Everything was perfect. 

When they finally decided it was time to hit the road, Felicity walked to the car feeling dizzy and happy. She thought if there was a heaven, this would be it. 

Then everything went to hell.

A car appear from the around the corner coming right towards her with frightening speed. She didn’t see it. But he did. From that moment, everything happened in a heartbeat. He run and pushed her out of the speeding car’s way giving her time only to turn and see his face before the car hit him.

And everything went black.


	2. Chapter 1

Voices, noises made by unknown people and various machines. Lights, too bright for her to open her eyes. Felicity frowned and tried to speak but words came out more like a hoarse. Now someone was holding her hand and she heard a a voice, more gentle than the others.

"Miss, you are in an ambulance. It's been an accident but you are fine, the baby is fine. Please, stay still. We'll reach the hospital soon."

The words were to comfort her but it made everything worse. Accident? What accident? Where was Oliver? Everything was in a fog and in that fog she felt she couldn't breath. And then she started shaking and she felt hands holding her. Someone screamed something and then everything returned to darkness and silence.

The next time she opened her eyes, she was in less pain. She stood up and realised she was in a hospital room and with her clothes on. That was a good sign. An IV was connected to her right arm and nothing more. That was a good thing too. She tried to remember what happened that got her there. She was about to tell Oliver she was pregnant and he proposed and then-

That car came and it was supposed to hit her but he was the one hit instead.

She jumped from her bed, disconnecting herself from the IV, and run to the door. She opened it and was about to get on the hallway but then someone bumped into her and gripped her by the arms. She tried to escape but it was useless, whoever he was, he was too strong.

"Felicity!" he screamed and she rose her head to look at him.

"John." It sounded more like a sigh than a word. She stopped fighting him and John left her from his grip. "Where is he?" She said still looking at him.

His expression changed from concern to sadness and she felt her heart stopping and her stomach dropped.

"No... it can't-" she started more for herself, tears forming in her eyes.

"He's in surgery. But it's bad, Felicity. The doctor said he will send for us as soon as the surgery ends" he tried to calm her down.

She breathed out hard, as if her lungs tried to give up on her but then changed their mind.

"For how long?"

"What?"

"For how long was I unconscious? For how long has he been in surgery?"

"You were out for 5 hours. And he's been in surgery since you arrived here, so the same time" he told her putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Where are we?"

"Angels' Memorial Hospital. Los Angeles. I've came as fast as I could. They called me. Apparently you both have my name as your emergency person."

"That's my doing."

"Why?"

"When we left, I thought this will be another life and death mission and if anything would happen to us, you should have been the one having the last word... in everything. But then it wasn't and I-" she couldn't tell him. But if the doctors knew, he must've known too, right? "Everything was perfect. And then that car appeared out of nowhere and now he... he might not make it" she could barely say that. And it was devastating.

"He'll be fine, Felicity. He's survived so many things. Awful things. He will survive this too. You have to believe in him.

"How could this happen, John?" She asked but he shake his head and then he looked away. "A man that survived so many, being hit by a damn car. Do they, the police, know who did it?"

"They believe it was a teenager. They didn't catch him. They say he freaked out and run" he said but then frowned. "But the speed. It was too high for it to be an accident. Even for one caused by a kid."

"What are you saying?"

"I don't believe it was a damn accident, Felicity."

"What-" she wanted to ask how and who and why but then Thea appeared from around the corner.

"They finished the surgery." She was half conscious of what she was saying. "They said he is stable for now."

Felicity felt guilt overwhelming her. Of course Thea was here. How could she not think about her. Oliver's last living relative. His sister. She run and hugged her trying hard not to cry on the girl's shoulder. It took Thea a few moments to react and hug Felicity back.

"They said you were fine so I didn't bother to come see you. I'm sorry. I just..." Thea tried to apologise.

"Stop it. You don't get to be sorry. Not for this" Felicity said breaking the hug and looking at her. Thea's eyes were filled with tears and she felt her heart breaking a little more for the young girl.

"What else did the doctors say? About Oliver." John interrupted them.

"He has three broken ribs and a lot of cuts. And that's the good part. The problem was in his abdomen and his head. He had a blood clot caused by an internal bleeding. They stopped the bleeding and did everything they could to remove the clot, but..." Thea stopped not being able to continue. "They have no idea how much damage they caused by doing that." She took a long breath. "He is in a coma now. We have to wait for him to wake up."

Diggle gave a nod and left. Felicity looked after him and then to the ground. She couldn't move. He was alive. Oliver was alive. But he might never wake up. And if he would, will he be the same?

She couldn't bear the thought so she stopped thinking. She just left herself fall to the floor and dragged her knees to her chest. In a second Thea was in front of her with a worried look on her face.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt somewhere? You want me to call for a doctor?" she started asking making Felicity's head to spin.

"You know. They told you."

"Of course they did, Felicity. Why wouldn't they?"

"This is not the way I wanted you guys to find out. This is not the way he would want."

"I know. John doesn't know though. He wasn't with me when the doctors came and I choose not to tell him. He looked wrecked enough." Thea said smiling.

Felicity looked at her and wondered how could she still smile, that beautiful rebel smile, after everything that happened to her.

"Don't look so surprised. We Queens tend to get ourselves into worse situations, as you might well know. It takes more than one car accident to finish us off. He will wake up and everything will be fine." Oliver's sister comforted her and for a moment Felicity believed it.

"We have to trust him" she said.

"Exactly." Thea replied standing up, dragging Felicity with her.

They walked hand in hand to the intensive care rooms. She remembered when Barry got hit by the lighting and ended up being in a coma for nine months and she visited him regularly.

The feeling she had everytime she saw him was nothing compared to the one she had seeing Oliver in that hospital bed.

If Thea hadn't been there to catch her, she would have collapsed to the floor.

Multiple tubes and wires were coming out of his body, making it look like he was only living because of them. And maybe at that point, he was. And that freaked the hell out of her. She couldn't enter the room. She just couldn't. Felicity turned her back to Thea and run to the nearest rest room. She barely had time to open the door of one of the toilets before her stomach gave up on her.

Even after she finished, she remained there, on the floor, not being able to stand up and be with Thea. She thought how hard this was for the young girl. Loosing all of one's family members can mark one's soul forever. And now she was standing next to the unconscious body of the last member of her family, whom she's lost more than once.

Felicity dragged herself up on her feet and washed her face. She couldn't leave her there alone and break down. This was not the time. She left the rest room and went to Oliver's room. She had to be strong, as he would want her to be.

With a hand on her belly, she entered the room, finding Thea as she imagined she'll be. She moved to the other side of his bed, and took one of his hands in hers. There was only an IV coming out of his index finger and in some way, it was easier for her to hold his hand, just because of that.

"I knew you'll need a moment. I needed one too" Thea said looking up to Felicity.

The blonde wanted to smile or say something comforting but she knew if she would try that, she'll end up crying. So Felicity just nodded and looked back at Oliver.

He looked somehow peaceful. Like he was sleeping. But that thought didn't comforted her at all. Since forever, she's preferred to say that people in a coma were actually sleeping, so it naturally didn't make a difference at that point.

She took the nearest chair and dragged it towards the bed. Right before she sat down, Thea squeezed Oliver's hand and then left the room. Felicity looked after her letting her head fall on his arm and then sleep came and it was numb and restless.

She woke up when John came back bringing them food. Apparently Thea had left without telling anyone a word of where or why, but they both had a good idea of the destination she was headed to.

Big Belly Burger had never felt so tasteless before. But John didn't leave her be without finishing her own hamburger. She needed food, she knew that, but her stomach kept on disagreeing.

"I talked to the doctors" Diggle started before taking another bite of his hamburger.

"Why do they only talk to you and Thea? I've been here longer than you" Felicity said intrigued.

"I believe they think you are still in shock."

"I am still in shock! But that doesn't mean I am not prepared to hear news about his condition. He is, after all, my-" Felicity almost chocked herself in her words. She just couldn't tell John that Oliver proposed right before he was hit. Not now. He didn't even know about the pregnancy.

"Boyfriend. I know. But it had nothing to do with his condition. It was about the moving."

Felicity looked at him and saw tiredness and stress. What has he done the whole time she slept and stayed with Thea? Clearly, he didn't rest.

"Moving?" she asked confused.

"Yes. To Starling City Hospital. Thea said something about that when we got here but the doctors advised us to wait till he wakes up."

"If he wakes up" she said bitterly feeling tears form in her eyes.

"Don't think like that. He wouldn't want you to lose hope."

John was right. But she kept on thinking what her life will be if he never woke up or worse. Just the thought was tearing her apart.

"I'm sorry. You're right. It's just that I'm so tired and trying to hold myself together, I forget I have to be careful with what gets out of my mouth. Not that usually I do, but-" she began babbling.

"Felicity" John interrupted her. "You should get some sleep."

"But I just did."

"No. Some real sleep. In a bed." Felicity blinked at him. "Here" he said taking out a pair of keys from his pocket. "I rented a hotel room, not far from here. Go, take a shower, sleep. I'll stay here and if anything happens, I'll call you."

She hesitated for a moment but then took the keys and hugged him.

"Thank you, John."

"Anytime. You know that." He said hugging her back.

"Yes" she responded.

And with that she left him, going to Oliver's room to take her jacket. She stopped by his side and lowered her head till her lips met his. It was short but for her, it meant everything.

"I will be right back. I love you."

Hot tears fell on her cheeks and she brushed them away and left.

Outside was dark. She then realised it was past midnight. She slept for at least seven hours and she wondered why her neck didn't hurt.

Anyway, Diggle was right once again. The hotel was two blocks away from the hospital. The shower was refreshing enough to keep her awake almost all night. And when she succeded on falling asleep, the nightmares came to hunt her, waking her up and leaving her scared and without breath. She dreamed of the proposal and then the accident happening all over again. She was reliving everything as if once wasn't enough to destroy her.

Then three weeks passed and the same nightmare took place in every night of them, but between waiting at the hospital and waiting in the hotel room, Felicity didn't get the chance to break down. Not even once.

Thea came back, the next day after she left with Roy by her side. Both Felicity and John felt relief that she chose herself over her brother, fearing she may make the same choice he did when she died.

And time passed, with all four of them taking turn on watching Oliver.

"He is not going anywhere." The doctors said but Diggle insisted that he or Roy should stay there all the time, just to be safe if his suppositions were true. Suppositions Felicity didn't want to know about.

If it wasn't for Thea's objections, Felicity would have stayed there all the time, but the young girl kept on reminding her that she needed sleep more than anyone. And she knew better that to provoke the young Queen.

Then one evening, right after Felicity arrived at the hospital, she heard Thea and Roy arguing about something and having no idea she was right outside the room. She would have minded her business, but then she heard Thea.

"It's been too long. I can't wait like this forever. I have to do something. Anything."

"But not that. It's absurd" Roy protested.

"You know I can't sit here and do nothing" Thea said, this time more gently.

"You can wait, as the rest of us. Thea, you are the one who keeps on telling us to believe in him."

"Roy... look at Felicity. How long do you think she is going to handle it before she breaks down or worse?"

"I've seen her go through this before. And that time she thought he was dead. This time is different."

"Yeah, more different than you even imagine."

"What do you mean by that?" Roy asked his voice suspicious.

"Nothing. Never mind." Thea tried to escape it and apparently Roy let her. "I still have to do something. And that is the only thing I can do."

"No. Who knows what he's going to ask in exchange? I'm not letting you near him." Roy sounded determined, just like Oliver every time Felicity suggest to go on the field with them during a mission.

But then she hadn't much time to think about that because she realised what Thea was talking about and her heart stopped. If Roy was in some way going to let that happen, she wouldn't. And neither would John.

She turned around to leave finding him right behind her, his face mirroring hers. They looked at each other for a second and then both entered the room.

"No. Absolutely no" Felicity started not letting Thea or Roy to even pretend they were talking about something else.

"That's not gonna happen" Diggle supported her.

"He's my father. He would-"

"He's the Demon' Head. And that's enough argument for you not to do it" John said starting to lose his temper.

"Why you, of all the people, disagree with this? You should know better than anyone that he would do the same thing for me. Why can't I?" Thea looked like a child who's toy was taking away from him.

"He sacrificed his life for you Thea, more than once, but that doesn't mean you have to do the same. And even if you succeed of waking him up healthy and alright with the Lazarus Pit, he would never forgive us for letting you to put your life in danger in the first place" Felicity said softly.

"I don't care. You can't stop me."

"No, we can't" John responded. "But that doesn't mean we won't try."

Thea said nothing. She just looked at them in disbelief and left the room.

"I'm going after her." Roy was extremely quite since they entered the room, Felicity almost forgetting he was there. John nodded and then Roy left too.

Felicity sighed and went to sat on her chair next to Oliver's side. Some tubes were removed from his body but nothing else changed. John sat too on the couch brought in by the nurses two weeks ago.

She just looked at Oliver, expecting something to happen, anything. But she found out the hard way, it was not that simple.

But then a growl was heard and Felicity looked at John expecting him to say something, but he looked at Felicity and then at Oliver with big eyes and her heart skipping a beat. She looked back at Oliver waiting for him to open his eyes or say something.

"I'm going after Thea and Roy. They can't be too far" John said leaving her but she barely heard him.

There was nothing else in the room. Just her, Oliver and the dreadful waiting.

...

Oow!

This must be the worst headache I've ever had, he thought. What on earth did I do last night?

His head did hurt like hell and his throat felt dry and sore. He tried to speak but all he could do was growl. Then he heard noises around him. Someone said something but he couldn't make out what. And then it was silence again. His senses were starting to come back to him. He tried to move and felt a warm hold on his hand. Someone was holding his hand.

God damnit, he thought again. What mess did you get us in this time, Tommy?

He scowled his best friend that he couldn't remember anything from last night. But he was sure everything had to do with Tommy. He was the one suggesting stupid ideas that Oliver always accepted because some reason he wasn't even aware of right now.

He tried to open his eyes but the light was too bright. It hurt. He squeezed them and then tried again. At first, all he saw was white, but after a few seconds he started to define the ceiling lamp that was radiating the painful light. He decided to look other way before his eyes burned out.

With the corner of his eye, he saw a girl standing next to his side.

He turned his head expecting her to be Laurel, or maybe Sara, but then the person holding his hand, looking as if her whole world dependent on his life, was neither one of them. She was beautiful indeed, with her blonde hair in a ponytail, her dark glasses framing blue eyes full of tears. And her lips, oh god, he would have kissed those lips on an instant if they were in other circumstances. But now his whole body hurt like hell and most importantly, he had no idea who she was.

"Oliver" she said with shallow breaths.

He could see that she knew him but he wasn't able to remember anything about her. And the fact that she was next to him in a hospital room because he was hurt, was not a good sign of what happened last night.

Damn it, Laurel is going to kill me.

He couldn't say that he cared a lot about what she would think, but still. It was not the first time he went out with Tommy and ended up with a another woman doing something inappropriate. He knew that one day Laurel would have gotten enough of it and she would dump him. And maybe she already did that, and that's why she wasn't here and this strange and beautiful blonde was.

"Oliver" she said his name again.

"Hey" he responded with his voice hoarse. "You're pretty. You really are. And I bet we had a great time together, but I'm sorry, I don't remember anything from last night. I must have drunk a lot."

"What? Oliver, what are you talking about?"

She suddenly looked shocked. No, not shocked. She was totally panicked. She took a few steps back looking at him with big eyes and drown a hand to her mouth. Something serious must have happened if she was reacting like this and he seriously wanted to find out what.

"What happened? How did I get here anyway?"

She didn't answer. She just stayed there looking at him in disbelief. He wanted to ask her again but a black man entered the room in a rush.

"I couldn't find them but I called Roy and he said they'll be here in a-" he started and but then looked at the girl and stopped.

He looked army like. Maybe he was part of the army.

"Okay... this is getting weirder. I have no idea who you are or why I am in a hospital room. So can anyone please explain me why are you here with me instead of my family?"

He was starting to panic. What the heck was happening? Who were these people? Why did they know him and he didn't?

The army guy frowned and looked at the girl confused but she just lowered her hand to her stomach and left the room without saying a word.

...

How could something like this happen?

She run through the hospital not quite realising where she was going. She passed nurses and doctors and finally she was outside. But she continued running. She didn't even stop when Thea and Roy approached her with questions in their eyes she wasn't able to answer. She wasn't able to do anything, but run. Stopping meant breaking down and she couldn't allow herself to do that in the middle of the street. She needed to get to her hotel room.

She needed to fall on the floor and cry. She needed to let the pain out before it ate her alive from the inside hold herself together for so long she wasn't even aware of how much pain and grief she bottled up in her soul. She just knew it needed to get out.

She entered the hotel in a stun. When she arrived at her room's door she had no idea how she got there, but she didn't care. She didn't even lock it as she entered.

She just wanted to cry but with all the fog around her, she realised someone else was in the room. She stopped on her tracks and waited for her eyes to adjust to the dark.

Then the intruder spoke and there was no need for her to see him.

"Good evening, Miss Smoak. What a pleasant surprise, don't you think?"

She froze.

No. It couldn't be real. This was not happening.

Every muscle in her body tensed, every cell screaming at her to get the hell out and run. But she didn't even flinch. She looked at him defiantly, the same way she did one year and a half ago.

"Slade" was all she could say, her voice steady, the word intending to make it all real and not the worst nightmare she's ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Thank you so much for all your comments, kudos and bookmarks!!! I really appreciate all your support and love. You are great and I adore you. Also, thank you for sticking up with me this whole week. I had a hard time writing this chapter because it was full of angst and my poor little shipper heart couldn't take it sometimes. And then it was the part when I had to write from his perspective. And as much as I love Oliver, I hate the old him. And yeah, you guessed right; he does not remember the last eight years of his life. Poor Felicity...  
> Speaking of which, what an unexpected visitor...  
> I hope you liked this chapter and if there is anything you think is wrong formed, a word or an action, please don't hesitate to tell me, I'll be very grateful for your help.  
> Love you guys!!!!!


	3. Chapter 2

"In the flesh" he said and Felicity could see now that he had his back turned on her, facing the window, the city. "I've always wandered how come Los Angeles, such a magnificent city, doesn't have a hero to protect it. But if you think about it, it's not called the City of Angels for no reason."  
"How?"   
"How I found you? How did I manage to escape? You do have to be more explicit, but I believe you meant both" he said turning to face her.  
She didn't move an inch. Fear ran through her veins like cold water, keeping her in place. He, on the other hand, was walking slowly towards her.  
"I may say I have a benefactor. He broke me out of that useless prison and gave me a goal. Or better yet, he brought my old goal back to life."  
He was now very close to her. Closer than she would ever like him to be. She could see his emotionless face perfectly, the patch over his right eye making it scarier than it should be.  
"What do you want, Slade?"   
"What I've wanted for every day since she died. To see him suffer. To take everything he ever loved and turn it into ashes" he said with rage in his voice, the accent making every word to stick in her bones.  
"So now what? You'll kill me?"  
"What a fantastic idea. But I'm afraid I cannot do that. As much as I would enjoy to."  
"Why?"  
He took a few steps till he was right in front of her, so close she could sense the heat radiating from him body and with his hand he lifted her chin, making their eyes to meet. She needed all the strength in the world not to jump or scream.  
"He always had a thing for strong and well determined women. Too bad it's gonna bring him his end." He let his hand fall and turned his back on her walking back to the window.  
"Everything at its time, miss Smoak. I believe you will find out soon enough anyway."  
And with that he broke the window and jumped over the sill, leaving Felicity stunned and wordless.  
She would have stayed like that for a long time if someone hadn't burst into the room, almost breaking the door. This time she screamed.   
"It's me" Diggle said putting his hands up, one of them carrying a gun. "I was coming to check on you and then I heard the window breaking. What happened?" he said inspecting the broken glass on the floor.  
"Slade Wilson happened" she answered surprised how easily the words came out.  
"What?"   
John looked shocked for a second and then his face became inscrutable as thoughts started to puzzle up in his brain. Then her mind made the connections too. How could she not make them sooner? It was so obvious, it didn't even cross her mind. Or maybe she didn't want it to.  
"John, he was the one. Because of him, Oliver now is in that state, because of him, he doesn't even remember who we are."  
The last words came out more like a sob. A cry she's been keeping inside for too long. Saying everything out loud made it all real and at the same time, unbearable.  
John didn't move. He didn't even look at her. His eyes were fixed on the broken glass.  
"We have to go. Now" he said moving away from the window. "Take just what you need for the road and nothing more. We are leaving for Starling tonight" he finished walking out of the room.  
Felicity did as she was told, grateful that someone told her to do something instead of leaving her in a corner to cry, how she felt it was expected of her for the last three weeks. In five minutes she was out of the hotel and in John's car.   
"I called Lyla. Deathstroke is out for some time. Apparently they didn't find out till now because of the false reports an impostor gave them."  
"The league?" she asked fearing the worst.  
"No" he said in way that made him sound disappointed. "I talked to Thea too. I told her what happened and she claimed that it wasn't Malcom. She had a strong argument about that fact that he sees Oliver as a son and would never do that."  
She doubted that Malcom Merlyn, the current Demon's head, would have any sympathy for anyone other than himself and sometimes for Thea, but right now she didn't want to argue on that matter. All she wanted to know was who, if not the evil sociopath, who she hated so much, wanted Oliver dead and her not.  
"What did he tell you?" Dig asked her, seeing that she had calmed down a little now.  
"Not much. The usual death threats."  
"I'm serious here, Felicity."  
"So am I." She didn’t feel like making jokes, but she just couldn't stop the words either. She was still terrified. "He said he has a benefactor. Someone who wants the same thing that he wants."  
"To see Oliver suffer. Nothing new here."  
"Who's the one making jokes now?"  
"Then why didn't he kill you?" John continued ignoring her remark.  
At that she stopped, remembering that she asked Slade the same question, at which he avoided to answer.  
"I don't know" Felicity said losing her focus on the road. "When I saw him there, I knew, I simply knew he was there to kill me. But then he didn't and when I asked him why, he said I'll find out soon enough." she said starting to tremble from head to toes.  
John looked at her and wanted to say something, maybe that everything will be okay or that they will protect her but he knew nothing will bring her comfort, not after everything she's been through. So he continued to drive in silence, letting Felicity to regain her calm.  
After they arrived at the hospital, she decided to remain in the main lobby, knowing her presence wouldn't be taken well by Oliver. Diggle fought the idea at first but then gave up. He had the bodyguard alibi, she on the other hand, had nothing. She was just a stranger to him now and the emptiness those words brought in her soul made her heart heavy and her mind blank.  
Unfortunately, John didn't have time to take more than three steps before the elevator's doors opened and Thea literally jumped out of it all exhausted and pained.  
"Thank God you're here" the young girl exclaimed as soon as she laid eyes on them. "What took you so long?" She was addressing John now.  
"Traffic jam. Where is Roy?" John asked.  
"He is with Oliver. Pretending to be my most newly made boyfriend." Thea said inspecting Felicity. "How are you?" The concern look was up on her face and Felicity had to change the subject before she would burst into tears.  
"What did the doctors say about his condition? When is he going to remember?" Dig asked saving Felicity from an awful situation and placing her into a more awful one.  
"They don't know- Thea said with a sigh- they said the memory loss sometimes lasts a few days, other times more. They even had cases of patients that never recovered." She answered and it was clear that she hated every word that came out of her mouth. "How am I supposed to tell him everything? He keeps asking where mom and dad are. How am I supposed to tell him that our parents are dead or that he spent five years on an desert island? I can't do that. And then, there is Tommy. And Sara." She was more angrier than sad. Or at least maybe that was what she wanted all of them to believe.  
"Damn it" John said turning his back to the girls and walking a few steps with both hands in on his head in a desperate attempt to calm himself down.  
Felicity just looked at them, not being able to do anything but to rub her thumb and index finger together and wait for the severe pain in her chest to smooth. She went through this every day for the past three weeks. Moments of silence and stillness in which she fought with herself not to break down. But it was getting harder and harder and she knew that at some point she won't be able to take it anymore, but at the same time she hoped that she’ll be alone and not surrounded by people when that time will come.  
"We have to tell him. Eventually." Felicity finally said.  
"I know, but how?" the young girl asked. "I told him the year we are in and that he was in an accident and that's why he doesn't remember anything about the last 8 years of his life. How do I tell him everything else?"  
"You don't" John said turning back to face them. "You just tell him, when we'll get back, who died. Before he finds out by himself. Don't get in too many details. And tell him nothing more."  
"What?" Thea asked in disbelief. "What about the five years on the island? God knows what he's been through there. Or about the fact that he is a hero to our city? Or that he's-"  
"He's better off not knowing" Felicity said interrupting Thea before she would say too much. "There is no need for us to bring him even more pain than we already will. And technically, the Arrow that Starling City knows is dead."  
"Then it's settled. Let's go. I promised Lyla to be home till morning." John said starting to walk to the elevator.  
"Go" Felicity told Thea. "I'll wait at the cars."   
She didn't give the girl a chance to tell her anything else because in the next second she just turned her back and left.  
She waited by the cars, John's SUV and Oliver's Porsche- that was there because of Roy- for five minutes when she decided to get inside before they will come. As much as she wanted to see him, she knew it will only bring her more pain. She climbed in the Porsche, knowing that Roy will be the only one joining her, the rest taking the SUV with Dig driving it.  
She was expecting to see him weak and tired, maybe even in a wheelchair, as a normal person would be after a three weeks comma, but when they arrived in the parking lot, there was no wheelchair. Only four people standing on their own feet. She could only see his back as he got onto the back seat of the SUV, but he didn't look as weary as she expected him to be and that made her heart lighter.  
The whole road took ten hours that passed more hardly than she would've wanted it to. It was almost daybreak when they stopped for the last time before entering the city. Thea remained in the car with a sleeping Oliver while Roy made the fill up for both of the cars and John told her that they will go separate ways at some point and after dropping Thea and Oliver at their loft, he will come to check on her. She tried to convince him that he needed to see his family more, but he refused to listen, so she let it be.  
When she arrived at her place she stopped in the doorway and looked around. Not because she was afraid somebody was there to threat her, and by somebody she meant one Slade Wilson. She just wanted to recognise her home and fell at ease inside it.  
And then she realised her home was not that place anymore. Her home wasn't even a certain place. It was a person, a person whose memories of her and everything they had together were erased or lost forever.  
Felicity closed the door, changed off of her clothes, got in her bed and started crying. She cried for everything that happened since that day and she would have cried for hours if someone hadn't knocked on her door.   
It turned out to be Diggle who came to check on her as promised. She thanked him, trying to hide her sadness and red eyes, and after he left, she returned to her misery cave and stayed there crying and sleeping till the night fall.  
When she decided it was enough, she began unpacking her bags. Most of her clothes stayed packed one way for so long, in the back of the Porsche, that Felicity thought the lines on them will remain like that forever. But she didn't care about the clothes. She was looking for something else. Something way more important.  
Her ring.  
When she woke up in the hospital and decided not to tell anybody about the engagement with Oliver unconscious, she took it off and waited for the opportunity to go somewhere to buy a necklace so that she could wear it over her heart. But that occasion never came and now she was back and she decided to make that her first priority in the morning. After the need of an appointment at a gynecology clinic, of course. She believed she was one month and a half pregnant and it was past time to go and check on the little life growing inside of her.  
She tried not to think too much about it though. She knew she will probably have to do everything alone if the odds were not in her favor. Everybody will eventually see the pregnancy belly and make the connections, but it will be useless if the most important person won't ever be there for her.   
Returning to her bed, she put the ring on the nightstand and let herself drift back into the nothingness.  
When she woke in the morning, it was not because she wanted to. Her phone rang for a while now and she just couldn't continue to ignore it. With a murderous growl she took it and without looking at the screen she answered it.  
"Hey Felicity! It's Ray" a happy voice was heard on the other side of the line.  
Felicity frowned and looked at the clock. It was 6 in the morning. What on earth had Ray to do with her at that early hour? She wasn't his vice president anymore. Right now, she had nothing near a job.  
"Felicity? Are you there?"  
"Yeah. Hi. Sorry" she said focusing back on the call.  
"Don't be. I talked to Mr. Diggle. He told me you were back in town and normally I wouldn't have bothered but it's kind of an emergency."  
"What happened?" her eyes were now fully opened and the concern in her voice present.  
"An explosion, a change of leadership and your mom called. Twice actually. Just today."  
"What?"  
She was now standing on her elbows. Looking at her phone she saw five missed calls from her mom and wondered what that could be about. She thought there was nothing else capable to surprise her at the moment, but she clearly was wrong.  
"Yeah. I would be very grateful if you would pass by here today. Not exactly now. Take your time." Ray said and then hung up.  
She barely heard the end of the conversation. She was too busy trying to understand what Ray told her.  
She jumped out of the bed and rushed to the bathroom for her morning routine. Which of course, included the daily puking and a shower. She wasn't in the mood to put make up on her face, as she was for the last month. She took only one hour to get ready and at half past seven she was entering Palmer Technologies.   
Ray was in front of the elevator and he looked like someone was about to punch him hard in a specific place.  
"Please don't be mad at me" he said before she could tell him anything.  
"Why would I be mad at you? And why aren't you up in your office?"  
"Because that is not my office anymore. Oh, and I blew it up."  
"You did what?"  
"Let's go somewhere else to talk, what do you say?" he said trying to smile in an apologetic way.  
They went up, but in her old office, which was now filled with paperwork and computers and large boxes she had no idea with what filled.  
"Remember when I told you about an explosion? Well, after you left, let's just say I tried to change something at my suit and by mistake I kind of blew the whole last floor up and the name sign that was on the building. Don't worry, nobody was hurt. And the floor is still under construction, kind of" he said way too fast for her to comment at anything.  
"How on earth are you still alive?" She stared at him in disbelief and waited for the continuation, but instead of it, what he said next surprised as much as saddened her.  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have blurted everything like this on you. Or even call you. I managed to solve all the problems these last three months without calling you, but I really wanted to see how you were. I heard what happened. I'm really sorry, Felicity" he said, his eyes filled with sorrow.  
She couldn't look at him. She turned her eyes to the window and tried to keep the tears from falling.  
"What about the change of leadership? What did you mean by that?" she asked changing the subject.  
"That is the other small but not so small problem. Before you left, I realized I couldn't save the city and take care of the business and the same time. I wasn't the right person to lead. But you were. You still are. So I put everything on your name, making you the next CEO of Palmer Technologies. Or whatever you would like to call it."  
She didn’t say anything but she turned her eyes back to look at him. The expression on her face demanded an explanation and he obviously understood that because in the next second he looked all terrified and worried of her reaction.  
"Well, this is why I begged you not to be mad at me." From his face she realized he was expecting this, but still wasn't fully prepared for it. She continued to just look at him without saying a word. "You don't have to come back if you don't feel like it. I'm still here and I don't intend to retake the hero mission just yet. I have some more work to do on the suit. And as we both know, there are people out there who handle things well enough."  
There was a long pause before she could gather up her feelings and find her voice.  
"Am I being selfish if I say I need time to digest everything?" she asked bringing one hand to her forehead.  
"No, not at all. You can scream at me later. I don't mind. Really." he said laughing but stopped when she looked at him with red eyes. "Your cloud is back on following you around, and as I told you before, I'm your friend. I'm here if you need me. Take your time and call me when you make a decision. Any decision." he said smiling.  
"Thank you Ray" she said smiling back at him a little.  
"No problem." And with that he left leaving her all alone in the office that was once Oliver's too.   
He was a good person, she thought. A good friend who cared about the people he loved more than he cared about himself. Why do bad things always happen to good people?  
Felicity looked again at her office and tried hard not to think too much about the mess that was there or about the one Ray caused. Her life was already a chaos, did she really need more of it? She let her shoulders fall and left the building.   
She didn't even realize how she's got there when she reached the clinic. The whole walk has been a blur and even if during the examination she understood everything the doctor said, as soon as she got out and started walking, she lost herself in the thoughts again.  
Her feet dragged her along the street with her mind in too many places. She opened her red purse and took a piece of folded paper. Unfolding it she saw the echography of her one month and a half unborn baby. Her eyes got shiny and wet as she thought how the universe was screwing up with her. She was pregnant and the man she loved, her fiance, had no memories of her. And only Thea knew about the pregnancy making her the only person to whom she could show this photo to. But Thea was now taking care of Oliver and going to see her meant seeing him, and in that moment she could swear it was not the best thing for her.  
And let's not forget about the fact that she was now technically the CEO of Palmer Technologies, former Queen Consolidated.  
Felicity wanted to help Thea, knowing she was in a very dark place right now, but at the same time she knew that her presence around Oliver wouldn't make things any better, but even worse and confusing for him.   
"Felicity!"   
She turned around while hiding the paper in one of her jean's pocket and saw Lyla with a bag of groceries in her arms smiling at her.  
"Hey, how are you?" John's wife asked her.  
"Hi. Good, I think. I wouldn't count on that though. It's been a rough day. Or month." she answered while Lyla hugged her with one hand, to which she responded.  
"You look hungry. Come on, John is making lasagne and you wouldn't want to miss it." She was grateful for the invitation but she didn't know if she was able to go and act at least half normal. She wanted to be alone and grieve, even if that was not the best for her.  
"Thank you. But I don't want to interrupt. He's been away for too long and you guys need to spend some family time together."  
Lyla's eyes saddened to her words as if she told her that her cat was dead because of some unknown reason.  
"You are family Felicity, and you know that. You've been away too and we missed you. Sara can't wait to see you. She keeps humming about her aunt Felicity."  
There was a silence in which Felicity didn't know how to kindly refuse Lyla but then her look hardened and Felicity knew there was no way out.  
"Oh no, don't you even think about that. I'm not taking no for an answer."  
And with that she took the younger one heading to the Diggles’ apartment.   
"It will be done in a min" Diggle’s voice was heard in the next second they stepped through the door.  
"Don't hurry. We've got company" Lyla shouted back.  
John's head appeared from behind the kitchen wall and his eyes grew big when he saw her.  
"Hey. It's good to see you back on your feet" he said smiling at her and his wife.   
She smiled back and Lyla went to kiss her husband and leave him with the groceries and then she picked her daughter up from her crib. Sara looked more grown up that Felicity expected, but after all, she was almost one year old now. When she turned her little head to look at Felicity, the arrow star necklace came out from under her t-shirt reminding Felicity of the second most important thing on her list of priorities, which she failed to fulfill today. She mentally cursed herself and her dammed thoughts for forgetting to buy a necklace.   
The lasagne was delicious, not at all as Felicity believed it would be. It was the first time she ate something made by Dig and she was proud of him for this accomplishment.  
After they all finished, Lyla went to put Sara to sleep leaving Felicity in John's care.  
"Ray made me the CEO of Palmer Technologies" she said out of nowhere. "And I have no idea if I should accept or decline.”  
"Do you feel ready for this?" he asked with caution.  
"It's not every day someone makes you the CEO of the most successful business in the city just because he thinks you are better than him" she said laughing bitterly. "No. I don't. But at the same time I can't just isolate myself and grieve for eternity. I have to do something."  
"I know you too well to say that you're not the kind of person who just waits for things to get better. You have to do something or else you'll go crazy. That's one of the many things you and Oliver have always had in common."  
She couldn't respond to that, she couldn't say anything. Felicity wanted to know how he was doing, coping with everything. She wanted to find out how much Thea told him and if he remembered anything else.  
But something was stuck in her throat and she was unable to say a word, so she just looked at him and hoped he would understand her eyes.  
"He's at the loft. Thea told him about the island and everybody who died. She had to use the Internet for him to believe it was not an bad prank" he said. "When I asked how he was handling with all, the answer was not a good one."  
Felicity imagined how torn apart he was. The grief for so many loved ones, coming down on him all at once, was almost impossible for a human being to survive. Somehow she knew he was strong enough for this but it still made her heart shatter to pieces. She would have started to sob if it was not for Lyla.  
"She's fast asleep. Hopefully we'll have a good eight hours till she wakes up" she said gently looking at both of them. "Felicity, would you mind coming with me to wash the dishes? It would be nice to have another woman to talk to" she said smiling and breaking the tension she sensed since she came in the room.  
Diggle laughed and stood up from the table.  
"Are you complaining about my manly presence, dear?" he said kissing her wife on the temple.  
"Not at all. You know I love your manly presence, Johnny.”  
"Good. Don't you ever stop loving it. I've got my eyes on you."  
"I'm holding you to that."  
With that they both smiled at each other and kissed, at which Felicity had to look away, not breaking their intimacy. She stood up as well at the same time John went to the door.  
"I'm going out to do a patrool."  
"Be careful" Lyla told him.  
"As always" he responded back before closing the door and leaving Felicity and Lyla in silence.  
Feelings bottled up in Felicity's heart and for a moment she felt she couldn't breathe. She was happy for John and Lyla. They were together, living like a normal family with a child, in an wonderful bliss, a way of living she's experienced for a few weeks with Oliver while they were away, but she was as much as sad because the course of those weeks could've led to what the Diggles had but the faith decided otherwise. But above all, she felt guilt weighing down her heart as she watched John leave to risk his life for the city, like she did for the last three years too but now couldn't even think about. She knew she had to return to her routine. The hacking and saving was now part of her being too, but the foundry had been exposed and there was no way they would ever return there. The other option was the base at Palmer Technologies, but that one was under constructions, unusable for them during this time. She took a sharp breath and put her hand on the backrest of her chair.  
"Come, let's clean this mess up" Lyla said bringing her back from her thoughts.  
Felicity followed her in the kitchen, but when she wanted to gather the dishes and take them to the sink, Lyla took the pile from her hands and placed it on the kitchen's counter.  
"They were not the mess I was referring to- she said- sit" the woman continued seeing Felicity raising her eyebrow in confusion. She felt uneasy in a way her mother made her feel when she was a child and did something bad she wasn't aware of.  
"How far along are you?" Lyla asked and Felicity felt blood freezing in her veins.  
"What?"   
"With your pregnancy. I saw the echography in your hand today, on the street."  
Lyla was calm, but decisive, and that made Felicity feel once again as if she was interrogated. She just looked at the well trained former agent sitting in front of her and then away. She had no idea if it was better to shut up or to spill everything out.  
Seeing the doubt in her eyes, Lyla's softened and she took Felicity hand in hers holding it thigh.  
"You can't keep this a secret forever Felicity. In a few months it's going to show and-" she started but the blonde cut her off.  
"You think I don't know that?" Her voice was small but her eyes full of tears. She just couldn't keep them concealed anymore.  
Screw it, she thought.  
"I'm one month and a half pregnant. I still have another one month and a half till it starts to show. And don't even get me started on the upcoming two months of morning sickness that I still have to face." She knew she started babbling at that point but didn't care. "Thea is the only one who knows. She found out from the doctors on the day of the accident and I didn't want to tell anyone because it was not the way Oliver or I would have wanted you to find out."   
With the other hand she took the photo from her jeans' pocket and unfolded it.  
"I heard his heartbeat today. I couldn't do anything else but cry for the next 10 minutes" she said with a quiet laugh. "How could something so small make such a firm sound?" she said lightly touching the black circle which the doctor said it was her baby. "I wanted him to be there with me."  
And then her voice broke and the tears she's been holding for so long came down on her cheeks and all she knew in the next second was Lyla holding her tight in a hug. A hug she felt she needed for too long.  
They stayed like that for a while, till Felicity calmed down and then Lyla made her a tea and brought a blanket and both settled on the couch.  
"Try to get up slowly when you wake and don't eat fatty or spicy food before you go to sleep. It helped me" Lyla advised her.  
"Thanks” Felicity smiled. “My biggest problem is still not being able to drink coffee. I tried decaff but it was awful and it's really hard for a person like me to get up in the morning and try to act like a normal human being without it" Felicity confessed before taking a sip of her tea. It was chamomile tea, her favourite.  
"Replace it with a fruit. Or more fruits. It should have the same effect on your body as the coffee has, but slower."  
"Thank you, Lyla" Felicity said looking at the woman next to her.  
"For what?"  
"For everything. It's really nice to talk to someone about this" she said looking at her belly.   
"I get you. The only person I could talk to was Johnny, and only God knows how that was for him. He had more fears and emotions than I did" Lyla responded. "And about the leadership offer, I overheard your discussion. And I think you should accept it. It's not good for you or the child to stay alone in the house all day long. Take the job, get back to your routine, but don't stress yourself too much either. You already gave that poor baby enough stress for a lifetime."   
Lyla smiled and squeezed her hand before she stood up at the same time the door opened and Dig entered the house.  
"How was the city tonight?" his wife asked as Felicity turned around to look at him.  
"Quiet. Too quiet" he said taking off his jacket.  
"How is that after every terrorist attack on the city, we get to have a few months of peace and then everything goes to hell?"   
"They're taking breaks to refill their batteries" John answered. "How was your night, ladies?"  
"Nice. But it's late. I should get going" Felicity said standing up and setting her tea on the coffee table.   
"You sure don't want to stay here for the night?" Lyla asked concerned.  
"No, I'm fine. Also, I have to go to work tomorrow. And for the first time in a very long time, the CEO of that business is a punctual person."  
She smiled and went to hug Lyla.  
"Thank you" Felicity whispered in her ear.  
She said that once again for the both of them to hear right before she left the apartment and the Diggles within it to rest.  
She grabbed a taxi and when she arrived in front of her house she turned around and looked carefully along the street. The usual feeling she had when she was followed was back but when she didn't see anyone she decided it was just her mind playing tricks on her. The tiredness was saying its point.  
As soon as she placed her head on the pillow, she felt asleep. And in some way, it was restful. At six she was up, dressed in one of her most comfortable outfits and with an apple in one hand and a tablet in the other, at half past 7, Felicity was entering Palmer Technologies.  
She would have arrived much earlier if she hadn't stopped at a jewelry store, next to her neighborhood, to buy herself the necklace she's been promising to. Now her ring was under her shirt, unseen, above her heart, making her feel it at any step, proving her that it all hasn't been a dream.  
She decided to wear heels for as long as she was still able to and now they were lopping on the tale floor announcing her coming seconds before. Ray was in her office trying to sort things out and when he saw her, his eyes grew bigger, the same as his smile.  
"I know you said that I should call if I make any decision, but I really didn't see the reason if anyway I was intending to come back" she said putting her purse on her desk, over piles of papers that looked like mountains to her.   
"Glad you’re back" he said with the smile never leaving his face.  
"All this paperwork, I have to do it, don't I?" she asked terrified.  
"Just to sign them, nothing more. I've already read them" he answered trying to calm her down.  
"What are you now? My vice president?" It was meant to be a joke, but what followed was an affirmative answer and it changed the whole meaning of it. “So we switched places.”  
"Exactly. I will leave you to your work now" he said stepping towards the door.  
"Yeah, thanks..." she said still looking at the mountains and mountain of paperwork. Now she got what Lyla told her about the stress.  
"Felicity?" Ray asked stopping in the doorway.  
"Yes?"  
"I'm really glad you decided to come back" he said smiling and then left leaving her there alone with the papers.  
Hours passed imperceptible by Felicity who besides short breaks to rehydrated herself she just signed and completed and from time to time read contracts, reports or testimonies. She was with her eyes in a certificate and with a red pen in her mouth, chewing it without realizing when she heard steps towards her office. She thought it was Ray bringing her something to eat or maybe Diggle because the sound was clearly man's steps.   
"Felicity Smoak?"  
The voice made her head to lift up in a dash and her eyes grew bigger than ever when she met blue eyes looking skeptical at her.  
“Can I ask you what you are doing in my father’s office?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD GUYS.  
> It’s 6 thousand words.  
> I just broke my record.  
> Anyway, I’m so so so sorry it took me two weeks to post this chapter. The first week was awful, my muse left me and my mind decided to go all blank. But then everything got better, as always and I succeeded on writing this beauty. The school is over so I hope I’ll have more time during summer to write and not stress myself on lessons and tests. I intend to end this during the beginning of October, when the next season starts, so it’ll be kind of a continuation.  
> Thank you so much for all the comments, kudos and bookmarks. I really appreciate all your support and love. I believe that you realized by now I like to leave cliff hangers at the end of every chapter. Get used to it because I love to do them. This is the main reason why I wrote this hell of a 6 thousand words, to get to the long awaited cliff hanger.  
> And yes, that’s Oliver, coming for answers. It will be incredibly heartbreaking to write their dialogue.  
> I really hope you’ll continue to stick with me as you did till now, you wonderful people.  
> I adore you!


	4. Chapter 3

She couldn't deny, the irony in the moment was more than present. He walked in her office, catching her with a red pen in her mouth and said her name just to make her aware of his presence. She would have stared with astonishment for a long time, believing it was just her imagination playing tricks on her, but the question he said next made that beautiful nostalgic moment to shatter to pieces and then she panicked.

What was he doing here? He was supposed to be in Thea's care and under John's protection at the loft, away from the wreckage his memory loss caused. She looked behind the glass wall, hoping to see either one of them, but the hall was empty. 

Oliver managed to somehow get rid of the two well trained soldiers and to come here, God knows for what reason. She realized then, he wouldn't have needed the five years on the island to make himself unseen and escape unpleasant situations, his playboy life did a very good job with that long before the half decade of torture.

He looked at her, waiting for an answer that in her opinion would never have come. His eyes were cold and suspicious and he looked at her in a way he never did. Felicity felt for a second that she couldn't breathe. Watching the man she loved while he looked at her with hatred, was too much, so she broke the eye contact. It was something to avoid him, and another thing to ignore the way he looked at her. She couldn't do that, even if she tried. For the last three days she struggled so hard to avoid him, being afraid of any question he would ask her and her reaction to them. But she hadn't given any thought to his feelings towards her. It was past her concern. Oliver from eight years ago would’ve never fallen for her.

And now he was here, in front of her, and the only thing that ran through her mind was how could she say anything without risking his mental health. Or hers.

The doctors didn't say anything about the way they should talk to Oliver that was better for him, but Felicity saw enough movies with the same story to know that there was no good way of telling someone, who had memory loss, what those memories were about.

"You were an IT girl, during my mother's leading. After she went to jail, and I received half of the company together with Isabel Rochev, you were my personal assistant" he started talking, taking her by surprise. She kept her eyes down, not daring to look at him. It was obvious that all the information he had was from the media, but it still stunned her that he knew all that stuff about her. Why did he care? 

"And then my mother died, and I had to convince the board that I was the right person to own the company, but they gave it to Ray Palmer and you became vice president. Interesting evolution, but why are you now in the CEO's office?" His voice grew louder with every word and now she had no idea if it was better to answer him or to shut up, hoping he will eventually leave. But he was never the type to leave unfinished business, and she knew that.

"Two months ago- she started speaking, with her eyes fixing the window glass behind him, measuring her every word and thinking it five times- Ray Palmer signed everything on my name, making me the CEO and him the vice president."

"Why?" he asked, taking a step closer to her desk.

"You should ask him that because the answer he gave me wasn't actually the most appropriate one."

Oliver didn't say anything. He just looked at her and narrowed his eyes, making it obvious of the way he interpreted what she just said.

She cursed herself wishing she could, for once in her life, be careful of what she was saying. Raising her eyes, she saw his features changing and a shadow of sadness passed his face before it could return to the dark cold gaze. But it was not the same anyway. His eyes were filled with more than just coldness. There was confusing and betrayal and even a little bit of regret, but before Felicity could think or say anything, he looked away.

"You were by my bedside when I woke up in the hospital" he said, more of a whisper, after long moments of silence. His back was now bent and the way he said it made her skin tingle."You looked so concerned for my life and yet, I had no idea who you were, I still don't."

She didn’t know what to say. Her heart was breaking in a million pieces and she was at the point where her legs were set into position to stand up and go towards the place he was standing just to hug him. And maybe do more than that. But she knew she couldn't do anything her mind was fantasizing. 

"But then you left and I found out that I forgot eight years of my life" he said looking back at her, his eyes keeping her in place. "I was 22, three days ago, now I am 30 and in the meantime I survived five years on a stranded island, my parents died, my best friend too, and my sister is not answering any of my questions" he finished the last part in a desperate tune and Felicity was now holding to her chair so hard, her knuckles became white. Her eyes couldn't leave his, but she at least overcame the tears."I hoped that maybe you would answer some, but apparently you are as fixed as my sister on not telling me anything" he finished, his voice filled with disappointment.

"Thea just wants you to be safe and well, Oliver" she said knowing she couldn't leave him believing otherwise.

"Kind of too late for that, don't you think?" he answered laughing bitterly looking at the floor.

"You think it's better if you find out all the truth? It's not" she said standing up from her chair. Her voice was now trembling and as much as she knew she had to stop talking, she just couldn't.

He raised his head to look at her, sensing her movement, not sure of what she was about to say. She wasn't sure either.

"Look at your bodyguard. You don’t recognize him, but he's your best friend. You were the best man at his wedding. Your sister? She is only your half sister. You only share the same mother. And me? We were-" she stopped chocking with her own words. She couldn't tell him that they were in love, most of all, engaged. She already said too much. 

She tried to keep a hold on the edge of her desk, but when she did that, a pile of papers fell down.

"We were what?" he asked without any emotion in his voice.

Felicity looked at him, expecting to see him as cold as ice, knowing for sure that he will be. But she was wrong. His eyes were the opposite of his voice. They held every emotion his words couldn't express and above all that sadness and anger, expectation was clear as daylight.

"Friends. Partners" she said and landed down to pick up the paper. Doing so, her necklace got out and started hanging in the air. 

When she stood up again, she realized what happened but it was already too late to hide it. He was now right in front of her, so close that Felicity could feel his body heat. He took the ring in his hand and just stared at it. Trying to keep her breath steady and emotions in control was all she was able to do, her arms and legs refusing to move.

"What is this?" he asked.

"Nothing" she responded coming back to her senses and taking the ring back from him and placing it under her shirt. 

He was prepared to ask something else, his mouth slightly opened, but he didn't. He just stayed there, looking at her. 

She tried to act normal and not lose herself to his closeness. She already had goose bumps all over her skin since their fingers touched when she took the ring from him, and her breathing quickened without her realizing it.

But he was no better. She could see his pupils dilated and his muscles tensed so much, making his restrain from touching her more than visible.

And then footsteps were heard and the both of them took a few steps back as if realizing what they were doing.

John entered the office, looking calm but from his eyes Felicity could see that he'd been through a lot lately.  
"Mr. Queen, your sister and I have been looking for you everywhere. She's waiting for you downstairs" John said in a formal way, stopping a few meters behind Oliver.

He didn't answer at first. He kept looking at her with his eyes bigger than normal. Then he turned and acknowledged Dig's presence for the first time since the bodyguard entered the room. He looked for a moment at him and Felicity thought he was about to tell John something but then he started walking towards the door and almost bumped into Laurel, who was just about to enter the office with Cisco behind her.

"Laurel" he said to her instead of greeting. He had his back turned on her, so Felicity couldn't see his face but she still felt the twist in her stomach when he spoke her name.

"Hi Oliver" Laurel said with caution, looking over his shoulder at Felicity.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here" he continued.

"I have some law papers for Mrs. Smoak to sign and I wanted to come in person” she told him still looking at Felicity.

"Yeah, law school, I heard. Apparently, someone did something good during their last eight years. I couldn't even keep my parents' company" he said bitterly before leaving the office.

Felicity kept on glancing at the door even before he left her sight, wondering what on earth she had done. He was broken enough before he got to talk to her. Now he was worse and it was all her fault.

"That was creepy" Cisco said breaking the silence.

"Aren't you going after him?" Laurel asked John seeing he had no intention on following Oliver.

"No, Thea said she could handle things for the day. We all have our own part of business to take care of anyway." he responded.

"What business?" Felicity asked trying to process everything that was happening around her.

"About Slade Wilson?" Laurel answered her with one eyebrow raised. 

"Oh frack! I totally forgot!" Felicity said slapping her forehead hard. "How could I forget something like this?"

"Hey, don't punish yourself. A lot has been going on lately, nobody blames you" John told her trying to calm down the girl.

"It's not something you're supposed to forget, Dig. Not when, every night, you have the feeling that someone follows you on the street. How could I think it was my imagination?" she continued scolding herself with her hand still on her forehead.

"Once, I forgot to unplug the iron and I thought I was smelling French toast from my neighbors but apparently it was just the iron table's mattress burning" Cisco said laughing but stopped when Laurel looked at him with disapproval in her eyes.

"You felt you were followed?" John asked going into defensive mode. "Why didn't you say anything?" he asked her, clearly furious on her for not saying anything about it.

"I didn't actually had the time to do so" she responded and watched how under his calm face, he was organizing a plan for her threatened safety.

"Don't you even start on that" she shouted at him raising her pointing finger. "I am not going to stay somewhere locked up just because a maniac is out there trying to hurt us. You know me better than that."

"Nobody is locking you up" Laurel assured her. "We will keep a close eye on you when you'll be going home, but that's all. Till then, we have a lot of things to deal with."

"Thanks... I guess" Felicity said before Laurel gave her an address and she returned to her chair and computers with Cisco right behind her.

"Someone bought this place a few days ago, but there was no name when I looked it up at the police station. I thought there must be something fishy about it" Laurel told her as soon as Felicity started tapping.

Oh, she missed the hacking. Her fingers ran over the keyboard like they were born to do so and her eyes searched the screen for the information needed.

"It's a warehouse near the train station and it has a huge gas system under it. It used to be a gas supply center for the city fifty years ago" Felicity told them, looking at the GPS images on her screen.

"It says here it was closed due to some dangerous leaking that happened after the Undertaking. They never really found the source though" Cisco continued reading an article dated from 2 years ago.

"So it's been abandoned ever since? They just stopped investigating?" John asked frowning and bringing his arms together at his chest. 

"I knew something was wrong about that building" Laurel said more to herself.

"So whose was it before the buying?" John continued asking.

"It doesn't say anything about an owner here. I'll hack the FBI and ARGUS bases. Maybe I'll find more there." 

Felicity was already breaking the firewalls before anyone could object to her actions.

"How long will it take?" Laurel asked her.

"A few minutes. I applied an algorithm to search in their bases anything that would be similar information to what we have" she responded leaning back on the chair.

"Okay. Diggle, I talked to my father. He said if anything happens, we should call him for help. The police is on our side this time" Laurel said looking at John, but the man was too lost in thoughts to answer.

Unfortunately, Felicity didn't have time to ask if he was okay because right then Thea entered the room looking more tired than Felicity's ever seen her. 

"What are you doing here? Where's Oliver?" John asked her, snapping out of his contemplation.

"He’s down in the waiting room. I told him I'll be there in five. I had to come see what we are planning to do. Besides, he didn't even listen to me. He looked pretty wreaked" Thea answered looking at them for answers.

"I found him here with Felicity when I arrived. He did seem lost actually" Dig replied to her.

"Yeah, that might be my fault" Felicity confessed and all four people turned their eyes to look at her in disbelief.

"What? Did you tell him anything?" Thea asked her with panic present in her voice.

"He asked me about the company and I tried to explain him what really happened but when he began to make assumptions I got all agitated and you know how my mouth works, especially when I'm agitated and I told him things, but nothing about the vigilante stuff and I know I shouldn't have opened my mouth but what was he doing here in the first place and why-"

"Felicity, stop. Breathe." John's voice was strong and it made Felicity's babbling stop. She didn't have enough air left anyway so at some point or another, she would have stopped.

"I’m so sorry..." she said with her voice small. "I told him that you're his best friend, John. And about your biological father, Thea. Well, not exactly who he is, but still, I just should’ve kept my mouth shut." She was on the verge of crying now, and she felt horrible.

"Just stop" Thea told her, coming closer to her. "He would have found out anyway."

The young girl side stepped the desk and put one hand on her shoulder.

"Now that we cleared that mess up a little bit, sort of, what's the plan?" Cisco asked everyone trying to break the miserable atmosphere.

"What is the status to the information search?" Dig asked still looking at Felicity.

"Incomplete" Cisco responded.

"Okay. We’ll go and search the place now anyway. Diggle?" Laurel said preparing to leave.

"Yeah. Thea, call Roy. We need him on the field if anything happens" he said looking at the younger girl.

"Right away. And I'm heading down too. I promised a family lunch, or something like that, and movie night to someone, but I don't think that will happen anymore" she replied heading to the door. "If anything happens, call me." 

And with that she left, preparing herself for what will come.

"I'll just stay here and call you when we'll find something" Felicity told them standing up. She urgently needed some air.

"Cisco?" Laurel asked.

"Yeah, I'll stay here too. It's not like you need me out there anyway, guys" he said smiling at the Black Canary.

Laurel nodded at him and then left. John took a few steps after Laurel but stopped in the doorway turning to look at Felicity, with disapproval in his eyes, making her feel sick in her stomach. Why did she keep on disappointing the people she loved?

"I know you are hiding something and I don't like it.” 

And with that he left, leaving Felicity and a very confused Cisco by her side. She let herself fall back on the chair and putting her head in her hands, she sighed hard and long.

"And I thought Central City had a depressing atmosphere" Cisco said turning his attention back to the screen again.

"I'm sorry" she told the boy, not lifting her head.

"No need" he answered. "I know you guys have been through a lot lately. And the whole stuff with the memory loss is so messed up, I don't exactly understand how are you still functioning normally."

"I don't. But enough about us. How are you guys? How's everything in Central City? 

She lifted her head and saw the sadness on Cisco's face. She's never seen him so sad before and that freaked her out.

"Everything kind of went to hell two months ago" he said tinkering his voice. "We had a black hole over the city, created by the particle accelerator, but Barry closed it, risking his own life in the process. After that, everybody tried to go back to their lives, or what was left of them for some."  
The anguish was heavy in his words, and Felicity felt the need to comfort him. This was not the Cisco she remembered.

"What do you mean?" she asked gently.

"The black hole was designed by Dr. Wells, who came from the future and was a very far descendant of Eddie, his name actually being Eobard Thawne" the mechanical engineer said in a breath. "To stop him from killing Barry and everyone else, Eddie killed himself. So normally, everything that happened since Wells went back in time should’ve changed, but nothing had, he just disappeared."

"Oh my god" she exclaimed bringing a hand to her belly. For a second there she put herself in Iris's shoes and felt the room spinning. "How is Iris?" she brought herself to ask.

"At first she wasn't handling anything, but now she seems better. But it's not like I see her too much anyway." He stopped and took a long breath in. "After the black hole, the team kind of broke up. Not officially, but it still felt like that. Caitlin went on her honeymoon with Ronnie and she's been with him travelling ever since. Barry is trying to be there for Iris and Joe, and I'm burring myself in research over research about meta humans." It was clear that telling her this wasn't easy for him and she felt awful that she asked in the first place. "And then Laurel called and told me what happened and said that I should come and help but I kind of feel like I showed up at the wrong time."

Although he seemed happier when he talked about Laurel, his mood was still down. He sounded like a hunted man, maybe by nightmares, or enemies his hero mission created, and Felicity knew, in some proportions, how that was like.

"Don't think like that. Here is never a good time" she replied. Cisco had enough on his plate, blaming himself wasn't going to do any good to the situation.

"I had no idea the situation was so screwed up" he continued.

"And you don't even know the whole story. But never mind, it's a long one" she said and after that everything felt to silence. 

"For some reason, I kept on thinking that, after everything, Central City was still the sunny one. But now, you are as damaged as we are" she whispered.

"Yeah, at some point it actually was like that" he said back, turning to face her. "Like seriously," he told her laughing. "We gave meta humans nicknames and we-"

A beep was heard loud and clear, interrupting Cisco's phrase and making the both of them to turn their attention to the computer's screen. Files and folders started to appear on the screen in an dazzling speed, everyone of them having the same name. They were all ARGUS's files. Classified files.

"It's done. This is all the information found and it's about-" Felicity began to say but stopped when she got to read the name.

"I've never heard of this guy" Cisco said narrowing his eyes. "Have you?" he asked Felicity and turned to face her.

"Oh my god. This can't be happening" she said with desperation in her voice.

"What's wrong? Who is he?" the man asked starting to freak out seeing her reaction.

"Quick, call John. He has to know this as soon as possible" she demanded and for the first time since hell broke loose upon them, she felt afraid.

....................

The ride on the elevator has been a blur. Everything since she stopped talking has been. He met with his sister and then she said something and left him there. At first he thought he'll wait for her and then try to ask her if what that women told him was true, but then he changed his mind and left the building without telling anyone.

He went where he would've always gone when things started to become too difficult to deal with. In a club.

But no real club was opened in the middle of the day so he had to get satisfied with what he had. Near the Glades, there was the dirtiest and with the most awful taste club he's ever seen. But he didn't give a damn at that point and it was opened. So he entered, searched for the most hidden corner and decided to spend the rest of the day- and maybe night- there.

He ordered drink after drink, hoping to quite his mind out, but it was in vain. The storm in his head just got worse.

After Thea started to tell him about the last eight years, choosing her words with caution, he realized she wasn't telling him the whole truth. So he started searching it on the Internet as soon as he got the chance. At first, he had no idea what to look up so he just wrote his name in the search bar and what appeared made his blood freeze in his veins.

He has been accused for vigilantism two times, but in the end the real person gave himself up and he was left free to go. The guy wore a green costume and thought he was Robin Hood, taking from the rich and giving to the poor. Or at least at first. After a year, he started helping the police and stopped killing. He saved the city from a siege and after that he went nuts and started to kill again. That's when the police took him to jail, where later on, was killed, by the same people he put there.

Oliver felt a strange twist in his stomach while reading the article. He never thought of himself as some hero, so why would the police? And the name of the vigilante seemed oddly familiar, but he had no idea why. 

All that the Internet had about him was this vigilante stuff and some short articles about his five years disappearance on that island, but apparently he hadn't loved to talk about them, so now he had nothing to read. 

The second thing he looked up was the company. That's when he learned about his mother and Malcolm Merlyn's plan to lower the Glades. A plan that succeeded and brought both Malcolm’s and his son's, Tommy, their deaths. 

Anger build up inside him as he realized his own mother was at fault for his best friend's death, but that when out and confusion took its place after he watched the interview Moira Queen gave on the day of the Undertaking.

He also learned about his failure on trying to keep Queen Consolidated, in favor of Ray Palmer. And then, he saw a picture of him, speaking during a press conference, with a blonde girl by his side.  
He recognized her immediately. Her smile, the shape of her glasses, the way she carried her hair in a ponytail. It was all so familiar, even though he saw her just once in his life, or at least he thought so.

He found out her name and then her whole history in the company. The media criticized her evolution from the IT girl to VP, and he would've done the same, but then he learned that in the process, she was his personal assistant, during his short leading. They knew each other. But what had really gone on between them that she was by his side when he woke up? 

He felt he needed the answers but had no idea how to get them. He was in Thea's loft, watched all the time by the army guy, whose name, he learned late, was Diggle. There was no way of getting past him. But then, he was clearly underestimated. No man who succeeded on getting rid of five angry paparazzi and a bunch of police men should have difficulties on fooling his own bodyguard. So the next morning he sneaked out and arrived at Palmer Technologies, hoping to find her there.

And he did.

As soon as he entered the office, the attraction pulled him towards her, like the gravity had changed in the matter of seconds, and he was no longer standing on earth because of the sun, but because of her. And when she started talking and told him the truth about Diggle and his sister, he wished he had never found out, but still wanted to know what was so special about her that made him feel that way.

In the end, she didn't say anything about them, nothing of what he wanted to hear, at least. But it was clear as daylight she was keeping things away from him too, and that pissed him off.

And then something happened. Her necklace came out, revealing a ring in shape of an arrow, pointing to a green stone, and something in his brain clicked. He didn’t quite know what exactly, but it was like a confirmation of everything he guessed.

Without realizing he was in front of her and on the verge of touching her cheek, or doing things way more complicated than that. But it took just one glance in her eyes and he knew he couldn't do that. She was afraid.

And then he turned to leave, bumping, on his way out, into Laurel. The last woman he remembered loving, but at that moment he couldn't bring any feelings of that kind towards her. And now was in this forgotten place where nobody would have ever thought he would be thinking about a woman he didn’t even know. Why did she make him feel this way? Why did that ring trouble his mind even more than it already was? He was too drunk anyway to think clearly, so he gave up.

Two women found their place on each one of his sides, laughing and trying to touch him. Normally, he would have loved their company, but right now he just felt disturbed by them.

He would have told them to leave, to let him be, but a man came to his table, his face unseen because of the dim light and the smoke filling the club.

"Mr. Queen, it’s so fortunate to see you here" the man said, his Australian accent used more than needed.

With a snap of his fingers, he sent the girls away and sit next to him. Oliver could see his face now, another face he didn't recognize but felt so familiar. He had a patch over one of his eyes and a syringe with a weird liquid in his hand, but before he could say anything in response, the man plunged it in the side of his neck and he felt into numbness.

....................

"Felicity, don't worry. We’ll find him. Lance said he saw him on the surveillance cameras entering a club near Glades. We are on our way there" John said on the other side of the line.

Cisco called him a few minutes ago to tell them about the owner of the warehouse, but Dig cut him off, before he could say a word, and gave them the news about Oliver's second disappearance.

Felicity freaked out, assuming that the person doing this was the same she feared the most at that moment. Taking the phone from Cisco's hand, she was about to start talking, or better said, babbling. 

She wanted to tell John that this was way worse than they thought and that the danger was too big for them to fight alone, but a loud bump was heard, together with the crashing of a window.   
She turned towards it and saw a smoke grenade on the floor, spreading white gaze all over the room.

"Felicity, what happened?" John asked concerned, hearing the noise through the phone.

But she couldn't answer. She was coughing her lungs out so severely, trying to maintain her breath, that the phone slipped from her hand and hit the floor. Cisco was already lying on the floor trying hard to breathe. Her knees gave up on her and she crumbled as well, seconds before the mechanical engineer. 

"Felicity! FELICITY!" John's voice continued shouting through the phone, but there was no one conscious left to answer it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!  
> I posted it sooner than expected. I really hope you enjoyed it and please leave a comment if so. If not, leave one anyway, because I really want to know your opinion on this story.  
> It’s going to become a lot darker… I think… well, you’ll have to wait to find out. I hope I’ll be able to post sooner each time, especially now that the school is over. I’m in my senior year now guys… I can’t believe it.  
> Well, enough about my personal life.   
> Oliver meets Slade and it doesn’t go too well, does it? But what will happen to Felicity and Cisco?  
> UUUGH… So many cliff hangers!  
> I know, right?!  
> Anyway, thank you very much for the comments, kudos and bookmarks. Your support means a lot to me. You are amazing!   
> I’m so sorry if I’ve been too sassy but it’s 1 in the morning, here in my country. I am so tired but I couldn’t go to sleep without posting this chapter.  
> I love you!  
> Take care!


	5. Chapter 4

The pain woke her up.

At first, there were too many places that hurt and Felicity was so dizzy, she couldn't tell what actually hurt and what didn't. It was like her whole body was aching.

Then her senses started to come back, instantly making all the parts of her body to acknowledge their pain level. She was tied up to a chair and her hands felt asleep at some point, now causing a sensation of a million needles pinching them. Her lungs were still burning from the smoke she inhaled and her head hurt so bad she couldn't see anything when she opened her eyes the first time. It was worse than the biggest hangover she's ever had.

And taking into account that it happened in college, more than five years ago, proved how hard she hit her stayed still waiting for another kind of pain to come, the one she feared the most, but after minutes of waiting she sighed relieved realizing the life growing inside of her was miraculously fine. Or at least, wasn't complaining about the treatment she's received till now.

Felicity opened her eyes again, this time starting to see things. Everything was blurred though and she realized that her glasses were missing.

Perfect, she thought, now I can't even see straight.

She hated her myopia now, more than ever. Being unable to see was her biggest weakness and now it was taking advantage of her. How was she supposed to see where she was or who kidnapped her when everything, at a length bigger than one feet, was in a fog?

She made a sound, which was more like a growl, in a pointless attempt to exteriorize her desperation.

She looked around her, but everything was in a dim light and the only figures she could clearly recognize were her legs. The rest was just blurred forms. The room was illuminated by a light bulb hanging above her, that looked like a small sun to her, and the block in front of her. Or the thing that had looked like it till it made a sound.

It's certainly not a block, it's a human being, she realized herself fearing to make a sound and having no idea who that person was.

She started to panic. Till now her judgment had been clouded by the pain and the discomfort the position in the chair gave her, not thinking for a second in what danger she was. After all, she's been kidnapped and now tied up and held somewhere, without even her glasses to see what was going on. She knew who it was, and scolded herself for not taking any precautions to avoid this from happening. But how could she? If Slade wanted something, there was no way he wouldn't have gotten it.

"What...?"

The person in front of her spoke and normally she would have yelped but she recognized the voice and stopped breathing. She would have recognized that voice everywhere.

Trying to regain her breath, she panicked even more realizing how bad the situation was. Just the fact that he was here too, clarified Slade's intentions and barely thinking about them scared the hell out of her.

Noises were heard, followed by a curse and Felicity guessed he realized what was happening too. She wanted her glasses back so she could see his face, his expression, see if he was in any way hurt but she was too afraid to speak, just like earlier in the office, because she knew how much harm she could do to him just with a few words.

...

Oliver didn't need to open his eyes to feel everything spin. There was no actual pain, but the dizziness was restraining him from feeling anything. At least for now, he hoped. Whatever that guy injected him with, had a huge effect because he didn't remember anything after that.

He waited a few moments for his senses to come back to him and he realized he was in a very uncomfortable position. Forgetting about his spinning head, he tried to open his eyes and was taken aback by the sudden pain that stroke him at the contact of his eyes with the light. He growled and remembered how much he drank before that man came. Not as much as he would have liked, that's for sure, but enough to give him headaches.

Then he realized he was not afraid. For some weird reason, he wasn't the exact normal thing that every kidnapped person would be, afraid for his life. He was not even curious. There was not a new thing for rich people to be kidnapped so that the loved ones would send money to the kidnappers in hope of them releasing the poor tormented souls.

Carefully, he opened his eyes again, avoiding on purpose to look at the light bulb that was above him. He looked on the ground and as soon as his vision focalized, he raised his head and he felt his stomach drop. Seeing her there, in front of him, enduring the same brutality he was forced to, made his blood boil.

"What..." he started but then stopped, feeling his hands tied up behind him. He tried to move them somehow, but the tie was to strong, maybe made of rope. Swearing under his breath, he gave up and looked up at her again.

She was scared, probably fearing for her own life, with her eyes big and on the verge of crying. She looked helpless and in pain and it made him angrier than he ever felt before.

Trying to calm down, he thought that maybe she was just an illusion, brought by the substance in his body, to make his mind more confused than it already was. But how could he know for sure?

If it wasn't, then what was she doing here? Why would someone kidnap them both? He hated all those questions and the anger only grew stronger as he couldn't find any answers to them.

In the back of his head, where the anger didn't reach, he wondered why he was reacting like this, now that he knew she was in danger too. What was so special about her that made his blood boil and his thoughts tangle at the mere sight of her suffering?

Maybe if he wasn't so angry, he would have made the connections between everything that happened since he woke up in LA, considering the fact that from here there was no running away. Looking around, he realized they were alone, in a basement, with only one door to his left, and a huge and complicated system of pipelines to his right, so clearly there was no one there to disturb them. But the only connection his mind was capable of making was between the urgent need to punch the jerk who kidnapped them and his fists.

He wondered if there was better to avoid looking at her, that maybe this way, his rage will slow down, but the effort was useless. His eyes kept on falling on her, searching if she was hurt or if she was crying.

Minutes passed, and so did his anger. Most of it, at least. He noticed that she wasn't looking him in the eyes at all and at first he was confused but then saw that she lacked her glasses and thought that maybe the distance between them was too big for her to see him clearly.

She didn't make a sound and by the look on her face, she was trying hard to do that. He was already sick of the silence and was about to say something when the door opened so roughly, it hit the wall making a loud noise.

Felicity screamed and he came to the conclusion of two things. One, she was not an illusion, and two, he was wrong, of course there was someone that could disturb them.

Oliver looked at him and realized the man that entered was the same one that he met in the club. He walked straight to Felicity and Oliver wanted to get up and stop him, and he would've done it, even with his hands tied up, but the chair had its legs cemented in the floor.

He stopped near her and Felicity looked up. It surprised him to notice that she didn't seem scared anymore. Instead, she was piercing him with defying eyes. Only her legs, that were still trembling, gave her away that she was still afraid and Oliver bet the freak saw it too.

Slowly, he brought his hand to his pocket and to Oliver's relief, took out a pair of glasses. Her glasses. He bowed down a little and gently placed them on her nose then took a step back and turned to look at him.

Felicity looked as confused and shocked as Oliver felt by his gesture finding impossible to explain it. But she didn't let her guard down. She looked at Oliver, now that she could see him, and searched him of any injuries and then turned her attention to the freak.

"If you are here to kill us, get this over with already!" she shouted at him.

"Oh miss Smoak, always so eager to end things up. But I see no reason to hurry. And like I told you before, everything at its time."

He answered her so calmly, it made Oliver wonder what was really in that man's head. He didn't even look at her when he spoke, his full attention being directed towards him.

"Right now, I have other things to deal with" he continued in the same way. "For example, I heard about the little incident regarding you memory, Mr. Queen."

"NO! Slade, stop!" Felicity shouted again, this time with fear in her eyes struggling to untie her hands. Oliver looked at her and then back at the man called Slade.

"Who are you and what the hell do you want from me? From us?" he asked and was surprised to hear the heaviness of his own voice, so intimidating and threatening, so unlike him.

"What good questions you ask, kid. I didn't remember you were this smart" Slade said smiling in a sarcastic way. "As I said, your memory. Such a pity, but I promise you, I'll do my best to refresh it for you."

"Please stop!" She continued to beg him, tears appearing in her eyes, along with the fear, but for Slade, she wasn't even there.

Oliver forgot about the confusion and curiosity that overwhelmed him when the man implied he will tell him about his past. His heart was swimming in a pool of rage. And the anger that was directed completely towards Slade. The reasons were too ambiguous for him to understand but he felt the need to beat him to death.

Slade saw the emotions printed in his eyes and smiled again.

"We met on the island, and long story short, you killed the woman I loved."

"Stop!" Felicity yelled.

A hole formed in Oliver's chest and it was dragging everything inside, the rage and the confusion, all the worry for her, everything, including his breath. Immediately after Slade said that, he stopped breathing. There was no way he could believe what he was told. He didn't know himself capable of killing someone. But Felicity's shouts and his urge to kill Slade proved everything to be true and that killed him, piece by piece.

"Then you returned home and I swore to tear everything you care about away from you until all that you value would turn to nothing, but ashes" he said, with his voice full of vengeance, ignoring Felicity's shouts. "I was the one who killed your mother. Right in front of you and your lovely sister, I drove a sword into her chest and dragged the life out of her while you watched, incapable of doing anything."

There was nothing else in his heart, just rage, the hole closing and leaving only that. Rage that grew wider and wider, threatening to cloud every human instinct he had, except the killing one.

"You son of a bitch." This was all he could do, fate making him incapable of anything else this time again.

"I wanted to hurt her too, your dear Felicity" he said keeping his smile on. He enjoyed his show and his hostages' reactions too much and that made a good enough reason for Oliver to hate him.

The need to see the man who claimed he killed his mother suffer took over him, but that didn't mean he wasn't aware of what he kept on saying. Just the mention of Felicity's name made his mind focus on the person in front of him and the way Slade called her made things clearer in his head.

"And I tried to, but you were a step ahead of me so I ended up again on the island, in a prison that was supposed to hold me there forever."

"As I see, it didn't" Oliver said, his voice full of hatred.

"That is only your fault. You should have killed me when you had the chance, but you were too soft, kid. You always were."

"Next time I won't" he spited the words.

Slade smiled again and with his eyes told Oliver that there won't be a next time.

"A year passed and then this man came and set me free, telling me what I wanted to hear the most" Slade continued. "I thought he was trying to convince me to make you suffer, considering that there was no need, that being my plan from the beginning. Somehow he knew of our past and wanted to give me another chance to fulfill my promise. So the man became my benefactor and I decided to find you and finish my work from where I left it, but again, you were one step ahead of me."

"It was you" Felicity spoke, more to herself. Her eyes were wide and looking straight to the ground. Oliver could tell how she was figuring a puzzle in her head, realizing things out, things he wasn't aware of.

"I have to admit, it didn't cross my mind that you would take the hit for her. My mistake to underestimate you and your foolish affections."

Slade looked at Felicity and then back at Oliver. For a few moments he stopped talking, probably expecting a reaction from either one of them. But that never came. Felicity was still looking at the ground, too focused on what was running through her mind, and Oliver couldn't find any words to respond to what the lunatic was saying.

"So imagine my profound disappointment- when I expected you to be wounded or better, dead- to find out that you had a memory loss and that you didn't remember anything from the island or after it. There was no way for me to hurt you. You know, no reasonable one for me, at least."

"What?" Felicity murmured.

"I thought about going after Thea Queen, considering that she was the last person alive who you remember loving, but going after her meant going after the heir of the Demon, and as much as my benefactor needs me, I refuse to believe that he will protect me from the Demon itself."

At this point it was too much for him. What nonsense was this person talking about? He couldn't understand anything anymore. Demon, heir, benefactor, it all sounded like a fiction world to Oliver. And what was crazier, was the fact that he believed every word that man was saying, even if it was completely madness. It was like a voice in his head that kept on embracing every bit of new information, making his mind more confused with every minute.

"Going after dear sweet Felicity was again a dead end. After the accident, my benefactor forbid me to go after her, but at the same time, refused to give me any kind of reasons. So I decided on my own that it was best if I kidnapped you both. This way, the whole situation would be more clear to explain." Saying that he turned towards Felicity and caressed one of her cheeks, causing the girl to jerk away from his touch. "I believe he has a great interest in you, but I can't figure out why. It's very unpleasant."

Felicity, who was till that moment lost in thoughts, found her way back to reality, only to frown at Slade.

"You made it quite clear that you can't kill me, and killing him will be too easy for you, so what on earth is the point of all this?" she asked him fiercely, tears now gone from her eyes.

"I thought you understand what I intended to do with you, now that I took the both of you prisoners. It is so much easier to say that you were just collateral damage."

Oliver's blood froze and all of his muscles contracted. Slade turned his attention back to him, but remained by Felicity's side, placing a hand on her right shoulder.

"Not after long thinking, I realized there was no way to hurt you, while you were in this state. You needed your memories back. And what better way for them to come back than to be forced to?"

"What are talking about?" Oliver asked the man. If anything he said till now had any sense, now it was gone, faded into nothing.

"Maybe seeing your loved one dying will bring back the memory of her, and together with that, everything else you can't recall about the last eight years."

"No" Felicity whispered, without tears but a specific fear in her voice.

"You are mad!" Oliver shouted, taking everybody by surprise, including himself.

"I believe I am, indeed" Slade responded and took a revolver from one of his coat's pocket.

Felicity groaned at the sight of gun, not taking her eyes away from it and Oliver tried again to untie himself, this time harder. He felt the wounds forming on his wrists, the pain making his body to shiver, but he didn't care, he had to free himself and stop Slade from killing her.

Slade pointed the gun to her forehead, so close it was hard for Oliver to tell if it was touching the skin or not.

"Anything coming back?" Slade asked mocking him.

Oliver growled in response and pulled his hands apart so hard, the chair made some kind of cracking sound. A little bit more, he thought. Just a little bit.

"How about now?" Slade asked again, this time moving the gun above her heart. "Nothing?"

Oliver's growl became darker and apparently that was what Slade was waiting for, because in the next moment he lauded the gun and Felicity closed her eyes, letting hot tears to run down her cheeks.

"Oh, I nearly forgot. It is possible that the gas leak- the one they never found two years ago- has filled the whole building with gas since I brought it. This room is isolated, but if anyone else fires a gun outside of it, it might blow up the entire warehouse. Just in case your dear black friend and his wife's agency try to do anything, you should know what happened."

He said it in a nonchalant way, like he was speaking about the weather, and with his head still turned towards Felicity, who had her eyes shut and her lips drown into a straight line, like she was holding herself from screaming.

"I'm going to kill you! I swear to God, I don't care who you are or what I've done to you, but if you harm her in any way, I'm going to kill you!"  
Oliver more yelled the words than spoke them. His arms were contracted so hard, he felt every vein pulsating into them and his fists were so tight clenched, his knuckles turned white.

"I don't doubt you'll try. But till then, what a pity you won't remember anything" Slade said with false and ironical sadness in his voice. "I should try harder. Just threatening her isn't enough apparently."

Felicity flinched when he moved the gun back to her head, this time the cold metal touching her skin. Oliver pulled his hands apart again, and the chair made another noise, louder this time.

But it hasn't been enough, the chair not breaking. In the moment he realized that, looking in disbelief at the floor, the shotgun was heard and Oliver closed his eyes tight, not bearing to look up. To see her there, tied up and now lifeless, with suffering and fear remaining forever written on her face. He felt his stomach drop and the need to throw up, but he retained it.

"What the he-" Slade's voice was heard, the stupefaction more than present.

By the time Oliver looked up, Slade was gone and on the wall behind Felicity, who was now looking at him with her eyes big and full of life, Oliver remarked a bullet hole and on the ground, the gun.

She still looked scared, but there was something else in her eyes. Something he couldn't quite make out what meant, though he felt his heart skipping a beat and the need to go and make sure with his own hands that she was alright that made him feel anxious and overwhelmed at the same time.

Out of nowhere, a read streak appeared and in a second Felicity disappeared before his eyes. Oliver didn't have time to wonder what was happening because in the next second the same streak appeared again and untied him and got him out of the building.

He felt dizzy and confused and the same need to throw up. Confusion was becoming the most frequent feeling he had these days, if he wasn't taking into account the one he was barely understanding.

In front of him was a man, all dressed up in red leather, with a mask on his face and a yellow flash in a white circle over his chest.

Oliver had the usual and uncomfortable feeling that he knew this guy but that didn't stop him from asking who he was.

"A friend" he answered with a smile and then looked over Oliver's shoulder. "Take care of her, I'm coming back in sec."

And with that he was gone again, leaving behind him a red light, the one he thought of as a streak and indeed looked just like a red lightning.

Oliver turned around and saw Felicity, five feet behind him, with her hands on her knees, trying to breath normally. She had no success on that, though, the fear being still clearly visible on her face, tears now running down her cheeks without her even noticing.

He crossed the distance between them in a few steps and whispered her name as he took her in his arms. It was selfish and impulsive and had no sense at all, but his heart screamed that this was the right thing to do. To caress her, make sure she was save, hold her tight, to keep her away from the dangers.

And to his surprise, she didn't reject him. She didn't push him away, or fought his embrace. She did nothing of what he expected.

Instead she crawled on to him, holding him with a strength he wasn't aware she had. Her nose was now touching his collar bone though his shirt and her arms circled his neck, keeping him close to her. He didn't mind at all. Tightening his hold on her back, he felt how she was crying silently, with quite sobs and his heart broke. He moved a hand to her head, smoothing her hair and whispering calming words into her ear.

Oliver felt he could hold her like that for the rest of eternity, but the man in red leather appeared again as he promised. He stopped in front of Oliver, at a much bigger distance than before, waiting for them to finish their moment. Disappointed, Oliver let go of Felicity and sighed when the streak came closer to them. Felicity looked up at him and then following his gaze, turned to face the speedster.

"Barry" she said in a happy tone, wiping away her tears. "How did yo-" she began but then stopped abruptly and brought a hand to her belly.

"Felicity? What's wrong?" Barry asked frowning at the sudden move of the girl.

She raised her head to answer but before she could say any word, she fainted. On a instinct, Oliver caught her and panic took over him. Looking at Barry, he saw the same thing in the boy's eyes.

"Diggle and the rest are three blocks away. I can take her there in a second" Barry said looking at Oliver and expecting him to let go of Felicity so he could take her, God knows where.

Oliver felt he could trust him, but after everything that he's been through today, he hesitated. He didn't move a finger, and just searched the man to see any good reason why he would entrust Felicity's life in his hands. He was after all another weird person who he didn't know from his past. And if that wasn't enough, he did wear red leather from head to toes and run faster than a cheetah. There were sufficient reasons not to trust the guy.

"Oliver!" the speedster shouted at him. "She needs help. We have to take her to the others."

Oliver then remembered how kindly Felicity said Barry's name after he saved them. She trusted him, in a way Oliver didn't understand. After another moment of hesitation, Oliver let Barry to take her from his arms.

"Take her to a hospital" he told him before he would disappear again.

"The others will, I still have to come back for you" the speedster said smiling again. He had a childish smile and Oliver thought he was no more than 25 years old. He wanted to ask him why was he helping them or how was that they were friends, but he didn't get the chance, the streak disappearing into the night once more and he remained alone, contemplating on what had happened since he woke up in that chair.

Now Barry took Slade somewhere and hopefully locked him up, away from making anyone else suffering and Oliver was left there, just with the thoughts that were rambling in his head. He was more confused than ever and the questions he had, they needed to be answered as soon as possible. Thea, Felicity or even Diggle weren't going away with it this time.

Felicity.

The image of her suffering and afraid was still too fresh in his head and the worry he carried for her made his heart to ache. He needed to see her smile, to laugh, he needed the proof that she was alright. The realization that he didn't remember seeing her smiling, just like many other things he didn't remember, stroke him harder than he expected. The blurred image he had in his head, the one that hunted his dreams every night since he woke up from the coma, wasn't enough. He wanted the real thing.

Looking around once more, he wondered where was Barry and why was it taking him so long to come back.

…

The pain she felt inside her belly freaked her out more than hurt her. She hoped it was just the shock and stress she endured for the last hours and not real physical pain.

She felt too tired to open her eyes fully when she realized that she was moving. Cracking them a little bit, she saw a blurred image of Barry with his mask on.

"What-" she started.

"Don't talk. Save your energy" he interrupted her, with concern in his voice.

Then he stopped and in the next second more concerned voices were heard, making Felicity's head to spin.

"What is wrong with her?" Thea asked him and from her voice Felicity could bet she was frowning at the speedster.

"She just fainted. All of the sudden" he answered her in a way that sounded like he was apologizing.

If she had the strength, Felicity would have smiled and maybe even laughed. It was almost funny how Barry made a habit on being afraid of the had strong tempers and personalities, she had to admit, and it was hard not to feel intimated or even worse, threatened by them.

"We should get her to a hospital" Laurel's voice was heard.

"With what? Diggle and Roy just left with the van to take Slade back to one of ARGUS's military base." Thea had a point.

"I can take her. It will take less than a minute" Barry suggested.

"Or we can call an ambulance. What if anyone sees you?" Thea asked him.

"I'm too fast. And everybody already knows about the Flash. Even in Starling" Barry said proudly.

"He's right. And plus, calling an ambulance would risk the police involving and then too many questions would appear and nobody wants that to happen, especially me" Laurel clarified.

"Okay then. It's settled. I'm taking her to a hospital" Barry told them preparing to leave again.

No no no, Felicity though. They don't know that Oliver is there alone.

"Oliver" she murmured, loud enough to be heard by all of them. She tried to open her eyes and saw the worries look on Thea's face. Laurel, with her arms crossed, was a few steps behind the young girl.

"What?" Thea asked taking Felicity's hand in hers.

"He is still at the warehouse" she told her in a whisper.

"We know this already, Felicity. Don't worry, we will go after him" Laurel tried to assure her.

"He knows" she tried to continue but it was too hard. The words demanded too much energy and she was left with none.

"What does he knows, Felicity? What are talking about?" Thea asked her and her voice was gentle, but Felicity sensed the anxiety in it anyway.

She wanted to tell her, she even open her mouth to speak the words, but then the same pain stoke her again and with her last strength she squeezed Thea's hand as hard as she could, gasping for air.

"Oh no" Thea said. "Barry, you need to take her to the hospital right now."

"Understood" he responded.

"What's happening?" Laurel asked but Felicity didn't get to hear Thea's answer because Barry was already running.

She lost her consciousness somewhere on the road, the speed making her ears to hiss. She didn't feel when Barry left her in a hospital bed and then vanished into thin air and she didn't hear when the doctors gathered around her and started to check her up. She felt nothing, just the dark and cold nothing of the faint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Long time no see, right?  
> I am so sorry it took me three freaking weeks to write this chapter. Unfortunately, my muse did not cooperate with me and I was left lacking imagination and fearing to write the big and awaited dialogue. In fact, it was written five times, and this is what I felt it was most appropriate, the phrases fitting Slade’s personality and the situation being tensed enough. I really hope you like it.  
> I am used to leaving cliffhangers at the end of every chapter and my dear friend Bianca (also named on this site as dreamworld097- she writes a great story with the Marvel Universe, if you read mine, you clearly should read hers too, it's AMAZING) told me that I should slow down with them and gave me well good reasons to do so.  
> I have to admit, I tried… but in the end, the chapter still ended with a cliffhanger, so clearly I have to try harder or it’s inevitable. Please tell me what you thing and how you feel about this. I don’t want to make my story predictable or in any way suffocating for you guys, so please leave a comment because I want to know your opinion, as much as I want to know Bianca’s.  
> Thank you so much for your support this far :D  
> Love you! Take care!


	6. Chapter 5

As soon as he snapped out of his thoughts, Oliver realized something was wrong. Barry should have returned in seconds, as he promised, but then he could bet that more than five minutes passed since he was left alone.  
Wondering what had happened that got the speedster delayed only made Oliver to think again about the danger he had just been through. What if Barry didn't take care of Slade how he should have and he was hurting someone else now? Or even killing, as Oliver well knew the psychopath was capable of. He had no idea where he was taken and that scared the hell out of him. He was not afraid for his life, but for others'. And most of all, Felicity's. He knew she was hurt and letting Barry run off with her was one of the hardest thing he ever did, even if he knew it was the most he could do. The thought that, after all, he wasn't remembering anything about the things he has been through in the last 8 years, gave him a weird feeling. He might have been through difficulties and dangers worse than he just experienced. But that didn't reassure him at all. On the contrary, it made everything worse.  
Not bearing the wait anymore, he decided to walk in the same direction Barry ran with Felicity. Passing the warehouse he just came out of, and then taking a left turn, would bring him closer to the city and maybe to the place where the speedster said the others where.  
But who were the others? A voice in his head asked and he remembered Barry mentioning Diggle, his bodyguard and his former best friend, as Felicity told him. Realizing that Slade mentioned him too, he once again wandered what was the deal with him and their relation. There were so many relationships that made no sense to him and so many questions that needed answered, he felt that his head was about to explode.  
"Oliver!" a voice shouted in the distance. He looked around, searching for its owner, but he didn't see anyone in the night so he just guessed it was his head playing tricks on him. On second thought though, the voice did seem familiar.  
Looking again, he barely saw two figures, far away in the shadows of another warehouse. They were running towards him and for some reason, he wasn't scared of them. When they got closer, he could see two women wearing masks, one of them having a hood over her head, the other's blonde hair falling over her back, both dressed in leather of different colors from head to toes.  
What was the matter with all these people dressed in leather? A part of his brain asked, in an uncomfortable and out of place mood for jokes that he choose to ignore.  
"Are you hurt?" the blonde asked him and her voice was once again too familiar for him to not recognize.  
It took him 10 seconds of silence to make the connections. It should have come as a shock, something to make his flesh creep and his thoughts to wander, but he stayed still and looked calmly from one girl to another. He choose not to answer the question. It was, after all, useless, of course he was hurt.  
Looking at the hooded girl, who stayed silent since they appeared, he expected to be angry, but he wasn't. Instead, he felt betrayal, and the sadness that overwhelmed him, together with it, made his heart sink.  
"Oliver, if you are h-" the blonde started again.  
"Why?" he asked startling her.  
As it was expected, none of them answered, and that only made Oliver's heart to sink more.  
"Everything became so much clear about everything now" he continued wanting to shout and yell at them, he wanted to hit things and let his anger burst out of him, instead of feeling like he was about to break down. But there was no anger, no energy to hit anything, just the tiredness and the fear for someone's else life.  
"Barry is on his way to the hospital with Felicity and Diggle is taking Slade Wilson to a well guarded prison right now. I don't know how much you found out from that psychopath, but I promise you we are going to explain you everything. Just not now" the hooded girl said decisively.  
"By explaining you mean making up more lies or hiding the truth, right sis?" he asked her back and waited to see her reaction, but she didn't even flinch. She just looked at him from under her hood and waited for his continuation. He was not surprised by it, Queens were never ones to be intimated, not even by other Queens."What makes you think that now I'll trust everything you'll tell me?"  
"So you choose to believe what Slade Wilson told you, but not what we will?" The blonde asked him in disbelief.  
"No, Laurel. I choose to not being lied again. That's all I'm asking of you, all of you. And if you put the problem like this, till now he is the only one who told me anything at all." He and Felicity, he continued but decided to let that out. The despair in his voice was clearer than he would have shown it to be already. Bringing Felicity into conversation would only make it more difficult for him.  
"I'm sorry, okay?" Thea said taking her hood off and he could see that her eyes were shinning. "I’m sorry. I know we should have told you from the start about everything, but we decided together that it was better if we waited. We hoped you'd remember by your own, that it was just a temporary amnesia."  
"Who you?" Oliver asked looking at Laurel.  
"Don't look at me. I wasn't there when this was decided."  
"Then who was? Because if I recall correctly, and I know I do, you two are the only ones I remember and are still alive."  
"It was me, Diggle and Felicity" Thea said sighing.  
Of course they were the ones to decide, he thought. The sister he no more recognized and the two people everyone tells him that are the closest to him.  
"Sooner or later I would have found out by myself, you know that" he said bitterly.  
"Oliver, there might be things so improbable that will make the situation too hard to believe. Things that only a hand full of people know and kept hidden for years." Laurel was determined, her voice pleading pike she was during a trial in court.  
And he knew she was right, but he didn't care. He just wanted the truth, even if getting it meant losing his own soul. He already felt it was escaping between his fingers and the ideas he already tied in his head only made it worse.  
"Let my judgment be the one to decide."  
********  
This was different from other wakings in a hospital. This time there was no silence around her and her body didn't felt numb, but it wasn't fully awake either. It was like a sea of tiredness that got a grab on her and it was not letting her leave the dangerous waves.  
On second thought, she did felt as if she was on sea. The well known morning sickness was making its way up but there was no chance she could go to a toilet to deal with it. And what bothered her the most was that it was still night outside, the sun not giving any signs of rising anytime soon. Or at least that's how it was the last time she saw it.  
A chain of events made their way too fast in her mind, remembering her what happened in the last 24 hours. Then she remembered why she was there and the lack of pain made her heart to stop and her eyes to open widely.  
The noises, that till then Felicity failed to recognize, proved out to be made by machines and voices of doctors, shouting at each other incomprehensible words. There was a rush and a panic around her that made her mind confuse at first, but then a nurse looked at her and the relief was more than visible in her eyes.  
"She's awake!" she told the other doctors.  
A female doctor came closer to her and lowered her head, in order to talk.  
"Miss, are you in any pain?" she asked her calmly, smiling kindly and patiently at her.  
"No" Felicity said more like a whisper.  
"Ok, that's good. What's your name?"  
"Felicity Smoak. What... what is happening?" It felt strange. The calmness of this doctor comparing to the rush and panic of the others, made her feel like they were not here, but in front of a TV screen.  
"Felicity, you were dropped here by... someone" the doctor appeared to have stumbled at that one and Felicity could imagine what kind of entrance Barry made for himself by bringing her here.  
Out of nowhere, the pain stroke again but the only thing she could do was gasp.  
"My baby... I'm... I'm pregnant" she cried out.  
"We know. Miss Smoak, I promise you everybody here is doing everything in their power to save your baby. " Another doctor said, not looking at her.  
"Save my baby? Why? What is wrong with my baby?" She asked them, panic taking over her. She couldn't lose it, not now, when that was the only thing keeping her sane.  
"Felicity, can you please tell me what you've been through lately?" The doctor near her asked.  
A lot, she thought to herself, but she remained quite. She couldn't tell them she was kidnapped by one of the terrorists that wanted this city destroyed. The best case scenario was for them to believe she was completely crazy and move her to the psychiatric floor.  
"Have you been through some kind of physical effort? A intoxication, an injury that would cause an infection? Anything of this kind?" She continued to ask, seeing her puzzlement.  
"Intoxication" she barely said the pain striking once more, so hard it made her cringe.  
"Push 8 mg of morphine and Sage, ask her with what she was intoxicated before she passes out" a male doctor shouted at the one standing right beside Felicity.  
She knew she had to tell them something, even if that would raise too many questions. The police wouldn’t be the problem, she knew, but she still feared the outcome of her words. Closing her eyes, Felicity decided that the life inside of her was more valuable than anything else.  
"A white smoke, from a grenade. The room was filled with it in seconds and as so as I started to inhale it, I passed out" she started talking without giving Sage time to ask her again.  
"And then that thing found you?"  
She shallow hard and blinked the tears that started to form in her eyes, blurring her vision.  
"No. I woke up tied to a chair. Someone kidnapped me and tried to kill me. That thing came and saved me after and then the pain started and I passed out again."  
This was the shortest and easiest way to relate what actually happened. The details were not needed.  
"Who saved you?" Sage asked her raising an eyebrow.  
"The Flash" another doctor said and everyone stopped what they were doing to look at him. He was a young one, maybe an intern, and the looks he was receiving were of complete disapproval. "Come on, the dude from Central City, the one saving lives with his speed. He came here before, he worked with the Arrow, but now that he's dead, maybe the Flash is trying to help out our city too and-"  
"Evans!" a male doctor shouted at him, stopping his babbling. "Go to the blood bank and bring 3 bags of 0 negative."  
"But sir..."  
"NOW!"  
The intern left and Felicity closed her eyes looking at the door and seeing it shutting. He would've been the only one to believe her in this room, if she had decided to tell the whole truth.  
"Hm. Kids nowadays" the older doctor said in a insulting tone. "They believe everything the media tells them" he continued and after that everything was silence.  
She wasn't feeling anything anymore, but the sensation of flouting, and in that sensation she found peace, forgetting everything and everyone.  
*****************  
When Diggle came back, they were already following a train line, getting closer and closer to the station, but still not close enough for anybody to see them. During the walk, nobody said a word and the road trip to the hospital continued to be in a complete silence too. Exemption made the two phrases Thea changed with Diggle, who returned looking completely dried out of energy. Oliver has been too far away to hear what they have talked about but from the destination they arrived to, he guessed the conversation has been about Felicity's state, so he decided to stick closer to them, in hopes to find out what was really wrong with her.  
Together with John was another guy that Oliver recognized from the hospital. Thea's boyfriend. He also remembered his face from somewhere else, but his mind decided to blank out for a few minutes and right when he was about to decide to let the thought go, he remembered. When he was accused for the second time by the police that he was the hooded vigilante, a boy showed up and declared that he was the one. Taken into the custody of the police, he was latter killed by some prisoners in the Iron Heights Prison.  
It was supposed to get more and more confusing with every new information he understood, but instead, for Oliver everything was starting to make sense. And when he realized that Thea's boyfriend was alive despite the fact that he was believed dead, only clarified things for him.  
After they entered the hospital, Diggle and Thea went straight to the reception and Oliver followed them immediately without even thinking it twice and ignoring the puzzled look Dig gave him.  
"We're looking for Felicity Smoak" Thea told the receptionist trying hard to hide her anxiety and worry.  
Startled by Thea's hurried voice, the receptionist, a woman in her early thirties, looked up at the young girl in front of her and then at her companions. She narrowed her eyes in a way of telling 'the youth nowadays has no respect', but looked back on the computer.  
"She's in the trauma room. The doctors are-"  
"Trauma?" Diggle asked panicked.  
"Yes. As soon as they stabilize her, a doctor will come to talk to you" she continued kind of pissed for being interrupted.  
"Thank you" Oliver said and decided to head back to the exit.  
There was no way he could just sit and wait for news. He needed to do something, to keep his mind occupied from thinking everything over and over again.  
Right when he got outside, he nearly bumped into a young skinny boy. Murmuring an apology, he passed by him and continued to walk. He didn't get far, because in the next second that same person materialized in front on him and Oliver realized then who he really was. The speedster was in normal clothes now, and the lack of red leather and mask gave Oliver a hard time recognizing him at first.  
"You okay?" Barry asked him. He was wearing normal clothes now but the stream of speed was still present in the air around him. "Sorry. Stupid question. Of course you're not okay" he continued self scolding himself.  
"How is she?" he asked again.  
"We don't know. She's in the trauma room. They told us to sit and wait, but personally, I can't do that."  
For a few minutes, Barry didn't say a word and even though Oliver was looking another way, he could still feel the young's pitiful gaze on him. Somehow, the speedster understood and didn't feel the need to ask, and for that, Oliver felt equally grateful and disappointed.  
"So it's true then. You really don't remember a thing" he said finally.  
"The last thing I remember is going out with Tommy and getting drunk. And then the next thing I know is that I wake up in a hospital, with this girl by my side and everyone telling me that 8 years have passed since then. So yeah, it's true."  
Out of nowhere, his blood started to boil in his veins. He didn't intend to burst out his anger on the kid, but he just couldn't help it. His curiosity somehow made things worse and Oliver failed to understand why.

"And in the meantime, my best friend died, my parents the same, my girlfriend became my ex, I made some enemies, killed some people and spent five years on a deserted island. Now my sister is acting all weird and is not telling me anything, my bodyguard is actually my new best friend, I am friends with a guy that is supposed to be dead, another that has super speed and the only person I completely trust to tell me the truth is laying unconscious somewhere in this hospital and I have no idea how to explain it, the way I feel about her. And let's not take into account all the possible ideas I've got in my head because nobody is telling me anything. So to answer, your first question, no Barry, I'm not okay and I don't think I ever were."  
He finished looking at him and waiting for a reply, a harsh one most likely. He felt bad now, after bursting everything on the kid.  
"You were and you will be again" he said and to Oliver's surprise, Barry didn't seem angry at all. "I know you hate it, but you really just have to wait. And about your sister, I don't think she's ever lied to you, she just hid the truth."  
"Isn't that the same thing?"  
"Not in every situation" he answered and his face saddened. "Especially if they hit the truth for your own safety."  
"I strongly believe that what I've just been through is not categorized as being safe."  
"When it comes to troubles, Oliver Queen has a thing for getting into all of them" Barry said smiling.  
"Thanks. You're helping a lot." Sarcasm was more than present in his voice but that didn't seem to irritate Barry in any way, though his expression changed and concern took over the smile.  
"You probably won't understand or believe what I'm going to tell you, but you've been through more than most people would ever imagine. And it changed you. The people you met, the things you did, the ones you saw, they forged you into the person you are now, and that person is somebody who inspires others and transforms their lives. You are a hero."  
Emotions were clear as daylight in his eyes and Oliver felt goose bumps on the back of his head. He wasn't expecting that. Not at all.  
"But what if now, after forgetting all those things, I'm back on being the playboy jerk?" he asked fearing the possibility of that happening.  
"I don't think so" Barry continued to talk confidently.  
"Why do you have so much believe in me?" He liked the convincing and doubtless feeling that the young boy's speech gave him and his sureness that was rather warming. It proved Oliver that Barry really knew him and was not faking it just for his well being.  
"Because you too have in me. And even if you don't remember, I do. You helped me become the person I am today. A hero, just like you" he replied smiling again.  
"Oh, and about Felicity" he continued, the smile never leaving his face. "You feel that way because you love her. But I guess it already crossed your mind, didn't it?"  
"Yeah..." he answered turning around to look through the windows' glass at his friends waiting inpatient for news. News about the woman he did though he was loving.  
It was weird, not knowing anything about a person but still loving her with all of his being. And now that her life was maybe in danger and the chances to lose her high enough to freak him out to insanity, he decided that the truth could wait. Whatever his life was and whoever he was before, it was in the past. The present mattered more now, and his present meant her.  
The doors to the emergency floor opened widely and a young nurse entered the waiting room looking around.  
"It might be about Felicity" Barry said but Oliver was already heading to the doors.  
"Felicity Smoak?" the nurse's voice was heard loudly in the room.  
Diggle, who was looking at the nurse with hope in his eyes, stood up immediately and started to walk towards her, but then Thea stopped right in front of him. Oliver was now behind them and saw the look Thea gave the man.  
"I will go and talk to the nurse alone" the girl said with her steady voice.  
"What? Why?" Dig asked confused.  
"We are six intimidating people, asking scared about the state of a single person from a very anxious nurse. I'm the little one here, let me talk to her" Thea answered him quickly.  
Diggle didn't say a thing and for a moment, in which he considered the choices, the silence felt awful.  
"John, please."  
"Okay. Go, talk to her. But don't think I'm not going to bomb you with questions after you're done" the man said turning to leave.  
Thea smiled at him and then walked towards the nurse.  
"What is going on?" Oliver asked.  
"We'll find out soon" John answered putting a hand on Oliver's shoulder. "Thea told me that you found out some things from Slade Wilson. Want to talk about them?"  
"Not now" he said still looking at his sister taking with the young nurse. That took John by surprise, but he didn't say anything, he just let his hand fall and turned towards the chair he just stood up from.  
After a few more minutes, Thea turned around and to Oliver's and everybody's else relief, her face carried good news.  
"She had an allergic reaction to the gaze from the grenade. And apparently, the shock made it worse. She's asleep now, from the sedative and tonight they will monitories her condition. Tomorrow they will decide if she's ready for check out or not."  
"That means we can all go home and rest too" Laurel suggested.  
"Not all of us. I will stay here and wait for her to wake up" Thea responded.  
"I'll stay with you" John said.  
"No need for that. You have to go home Dig. You are barely standing on your feet." Thea's voice was well determined, like she was not accepting any negative response.  
"Somebody still needs to stay here with you" Laurel demanded.  
"I will" Oliver said and everybody turned to look at him. "Anyway, I don't think you want to let me out of your sight any time soon."  
Nobody answered and after a few moments, Thea nodded and Oliver felt more grateful than he wanted to admit, even to himself.  
"Okay then" Barry said. "Who wants a ride?"  
In the end, Laurel was the one to go with Barry, both of them intending to check on Cisco first. Roy and Diggle left soon afterwards, both of them more than in need of a good night sleep.  
It was past midnight when the Queens were all alone in the waiting room, everybody being at the cafeteria, trying to refuel themselves. After long persuasions, Oliver convinced Thea that it was better for her to doze off some hours than drinking another double espresso.  
So here they were now, both on a couch, Thea sleeping on Oliver's shoulder with one of his arms around hers, to keep her steady. It felt comforting for him. The way she seemed so peaceful in her sleep, like she looked when she was little.  
How did his little and innocent sister become this feared and powerful woman? The question passed through his mind more than once in the last days. *Stroking* the hair from her face, he realized that there was no way he was going to sleep tonight so instead he began to rethink the ideas he formed, over and over again in his head. A thing that didn't do much good to him.  
The sky was starting to light up when Thea woke up demanding for food and coffee, so they finally left for the cafeteria and when they came back, they were greeted by Barry.  
"You use your speed even when you sleep? It's 5 in the morning" the younger Queen asked still rubbing her eyes.  
"Just when needed" Barry answered after a short laugh. "You have to go home to rest too so I'm here to take watch."  
"Yes, he does" Thea said pointing to Oliver. "I managed to sleep for a couple of hours, but he didn't."  
"How do you know that?" Oliver asked her raising an eyebrow.  
"Did you look at yourself in the mirror today? You look like a zombie." Thea was in the mood for mocking him but Oliver didn't mind. Once again it felt comforting to have Speedy back.  
And to be honest to himself, he didn't look in a mirror lately, but he felt as if his whole body was screaming for sleep. Real sleep. He haven't gotten a good night sleep in what? Days? Maybe since he got out of his coma.  
"Okay, fine. I'll go" he said sighing.  
"Want a ride?" Barry asked him smirking.  
"No thanks. I've had enough of those."  
"You sure? It is after all, faster" Thea told him.  
"Speedy, last time I checked I still remembered how to use public transport" he said kissing his sister's forehead. "Please call me when she wakes up" he said turning to leave, not waiting for his sister to answer and not looking at her to see the sad smile that appeared on her face.  
*********************  
"Why?" a voice asked behind her and when she turned around to see its owner, her legs almost gave her up. "Why didn't you say a thing?"  
"I..." she tried to explain herself but was cut off.  
"It's all your fault. He's gone now and it's all your fault."  
"I'm sorry" another voice said determinedly, one of a child, and in the next second, a little girl, maybe of seven, with black hair and big glasses appeared right next to her. Tears were formed in her eyes but she hold her hands tight together like she refused to cry. "He promised he'll come back."  
"He won't Felicity!" the woman on the floor screamed. Her beautiful blonde hair was in a mess and the mascara was painting her face with lines that made her look much older than she actually was. The orange dress she wore so proudly a night before was now ripped on one side and stained with red wine on the other.  
But what shocked Felicity the most was the way that woman screamed her name. She flinched at the same time the young girl did and suddenly she remembered.  
"Dad never broke a promise" the girl said, visibly losing hope.  
"Oh, you poor child" the woman said and then started to cry again.  
She promised him to keep secret the preparation for his leaving since she succeeded on rebuilding that old computer of his and discovered some old files, files she didn't even understood back then.  
When her father caught her, he looked more proud than she ever saw him be. He smiled and hugged her like he never did and then he made her promise not to tell her mother about what she did or saw, and in exchange, he promised her to always come back to them, no matter when and why he'll leave.  
So when she saw him making his luggage, a few days after, while her mother was at work, she acted like nothing was happening. The next night, after her mother left for work, he took everything he had in their little apartment, kissed her forehead and said: "Remember, Felicity. I'll always come back. No matter what."  
And she believed him.  
But then her mother found out and after the screaming and crying scene she made, refused to believe his promise. It took her a while, but in the end, Felicity stopped believing it too.  
When she got sick of looking at the door and waiting for him to enter, she realized that it had been nothing but a lie. And it hurt her more than anything ever did till that moment.  
Trying to get a lead on him, she rebuilt the computer, but there was nothing in it. All the files, all the data she so amazed looked at a while ago, was now gone, deleted and lost forever.  
The fact that now she was reliving that moment, made her stomach twist and her eyes teary. Since then she had the unlucky change to experience much hurtful looses, but that one has put its signature on her. Not just losing a person she loved, but being blamed by another one she loved the same way, made it hard for her to breath.  
The cries stopped abruptly and when Felicity looked at the much younger version of her mother her eyes were already piercing hers. Blue eyes looking strongly into blue eyes.  
"Don't make the same mistake again" she said, the tears now gone.  
Felicity didn't have time to reply. She didn't even had time to understand the meaning of her mother's word properly before being sucked into the darkness again and waking up roughly in a hospital bed. The breath she took at that moment after sounded as she had just been strangled, but she couldn't deny the fact that she felt after all like she just felt seven floors. She had no problem adjusting her sight, on the other hand, the light in the room being barely present.  
A nurse was in the room with her, near the computers that were monitoring her vitals.  
"Stay still. I'm going to call the doctor." And with that she left giving Felicity no time to ask anything.  
After a few minutes though a doctor, slightly familiar, entered her room with a smile on her face.  
"Good morning Miss Smoak. My name is Sage Robbins. I believe you remember me from earlier." she started excited and Felicity couldn't deny she didn't. "You've been out for some time. And by that I mean a few hours. Exactly 8" she continued looking through Felicity's medical chart. "No need to panic. Especially in your condition."  
"My condition? What do you mean?"  
Although she remembered the calm and kindness that this woman carried around her and she sensed it when Barry brought her in, and she still sensed it, anxiety started to build up in her soul.  
"You've experienced a mixed panic attack caused by an intoxication through your breathing system. It mostly affected your baby but we were able to contain the worse of it and avoid a miscarriage. You were very lucky" she said smiling.  
"So everything is fine?" Felicity asked feeling relief overflowing her body.  
"More than fine. As I see here, everything looks perfect and if you promise us to be careful with the stress, we'll most likely let you go home by the end of the day."  
"Thank you" was all she could mumble.  
"No need for that" Sage said. "Now, you've put some people on their sticks during your little nap. A girl refused to leave all night, even after she heard that you were alright. I'll go tell her you are awake." She smiled again and then left.  
Felicity looked down at her belly and putting her hands on it she let some tears fall whispering words of thank you over and over again.  
"Hey" Thea's voice was heard from the doorway and when Felicity looked up, the girl came in a rush and hugged her tight. " I am so glad you are both well. They told me but I knew I couldn't truly believe until I see it with my own eyes" he said and her voice sounded strange.  
"Thea, are you crying?" Felicity asked her tightening her arms around the little Queen.  
"No" she answered determined but when she broke the hug and rubbed her eyes she started laughing. "Yes. A little. They are tears of happiness."  
Felicity smiled and places a hand on her shoulder.  
"What happened after I passed out? Did you catch Slade?"  
"Yes. Dig and Roy took care of that. They took him to an ARGUS facility. Apparently, Amanda Waller wasn't too pleased to hear about his escaping but maybe now they'll make a better job on locking him up. If they intend to do that."  
"What?" Felicity asked confused but then decided this was not the time and place for that conversation. "Never mind it. How is everyone?"  
"They are home, resting. Nobody was hurt, if that's what you're asking. Exempt you, of course" Thea answered.  
"Do they know about the pregnancy?"  
She wasn't that focuses on that secret anymore, but she still wanted it to came from her rather than from the doctors.  
"No. I was careful enough to talk to the doctors alone and inform them of that detail" Thea said and Felicity sighed with relief once again.  
"And Oliver? How is he?" she asked after a moment. She remembered the way he hugged her after Barry got them out of that warehouse. It was in the same way he used to hug her before the accident, when he was the real him, and for a moment she lost herself in that hug and held tight on him. She took the comfort in that moment for as long as she could, till the pain kicked again and she lost consciousness.  
"He looked alright. Not as shacked as we expected after the events, I have to admit. Dig has a theory that he already knows some stuff and is waiting for us to talk and usually Diggle is right. He did wait patiently with me the whole night. He couldn't get any sleep so I sent him home around six in the morning, when Barry came."  
"Barry's here?"  
"Right here actually" the speedster said appearing in doorway. With a smile on his face he looked more rested than anyone in that hospital.  
"You freaked us out a little, Smoak" he said approaching her bed. "And that's my thing. Not fair."  
"I'm glad you're here" she said and Cisco's word came to mind: "After the black hole, the team kind of broke up. Not officially, but it still felt like it."  
"Me too. We wouldn't be having this conversation if I were not."  
"That's not exactly true" Thea said in defense.  
"Have it your way Speedy" Barry said turning to smile at her and Felicity couldn't do nothing but laugh at the two's little quarrel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Long time no see… or more like post? Yeah, I think I’ll go with “long time no post”.  
> Regarding that, I sinceriously apologize from the bottom of my soul for the long and terrible wait I have put you, beautiful fangirls and fanboys with big and forgiving hearts, through the last mouth and a half. I have no reasonable apology but the one concerning my lost inspiration. I have written paragraphs over paragraphs and deleted them all for more times than I could remember.  
> Finally, thank goodness, I succeeded on finishing this piece of the story. For once, I managed not to end it a cliffhanger, a think I am very proud of. I really hope you liked this chapter and that clarified for you some thinks along the way about Felicity’s dad.  
> Thank you for all your support and you’re undying love sent through the bookmarks, comments and kudos. You’re the real MVP.  
> Lots of hugs and kisses!!! Take care :)


	7. Chapter 6

Her hair was falling all around their faces, like a curtain, hiding them from the world. Her moans were giving him goose bumps on his back and kissing her didn't make it stop. Not that he wanted it to stop. She being on top meant that he had to just touch and take pleasure so he enjoyed every bit of it.  
She started then to move slowly and he shortly laughed under his breath on her teasing. Breaking the kiss, she raised her head and with one hand brought her hair on the back, still looking at him and not stopping her movements.  
It was almost noon outside and the light that came through the window made her skin lilac and her eyes dark. God, she was beautiful.   
"I love you" she said and landed back to kiss him.  
He growled and suddenly stood up with her on his lap, making her moan hard in his chest. Placing his hands on her waist, he began to move her. She raised her head and looking at him she followed his hands, making him place them on her back.  
"I love you too" he responded while leaning to kiss her neck. "I... love... you" he said and with every word, he placed a kiss and a mark on her neck and collar bone, making her say his name over and over again.  
.............  
Opening his eyes widely, he woke up from the dream. He could barely breathe, moving being a lost cause to him. It took Oliver 3 minutes to calm himself down and sit up. With his legs over the bed's edge, he let his head rest in his hands, elbows finding support on his knees.  
It was not the first dream he had of her since he'd woken up from the coma, but they have been nothing but short scenes of her smiling or looking at him in a loving way, every time both of them being in a place he couldn't recognize: a beach, or a forest, a tropical town or the top of a small mountain. But it has never been like that. It startled him to see her in that way, feeling her skin so close to his and the way she said his name only made his head more cluttered than it was supposed to be.   
He brushed his face with his hands and decided to take a cold shower, to clean his mind off of it. There was no point in overthinking the dream, not when he had no idea if it was only a trick his hidden desires played on his mind or worse, things that actually happened in the past, things he forgot after the accident, alongside with many others.   
While the cold water hit his back he whispered swears under his breath. He hated it. He wished all the things he was dreaming of to be true, but then why was she acting so distant, so cold, when he was around her.  
The moment they shared in his old man's office came back to his mind and after it the one when Barry got them out of the warehouse. How she clanged so hard to him and cried on his chest. The only time she hadn't been so far away from him and afraid, but the opposite.  
.........................................  
After Barry made some jokes and tried desperately to act like everything was alright, Diggle showed up. His face lit up at the sight of her well and unharmed but then it quickly changed back on the "you are still hiding something from me, so I am still mad at you" one. Felicity remembered her dreams and realized that she had to tell him and that there was no real point in keeping it away from him anymore. She had to tell him everything.  
"Barry, Thea" she started interrupting Barry in the middle of one of his jokes. "Could you give John and I the room please?"  
She smiled at them and even if Barry looked slightly confused by her asking, Thea nodded and enthusiastically took Barry by his arm and dragged him out of the room, closing the door on her way.  
"It was about damn time" Diggle said coming closer to her bed and letting himself fall into a chair.  
"I know. I just... it felt wrong to talk about it" she started looking down at her hands. She was now resting with her back on a bunch of pillows, and they were becoming more and more uncomfortable, but she ignored the feeling.  
John didn't say anything. He just looked at her and waited for explanations that were surely going to leave her in tears.  
"Everything was perfect for a while. More perfect that I ever imagined it could be. But then I got sick. Well, not sick sick. More like the flu sick. But it wasn't truly the flu. It only had its symptoms. A few of them mostly" she started talking faster than she wanted.  
"Felicity, breathe" he said, stopping her babbling. She drew in a long breath and blinking the tears away, she gathered enough courage to speak it out.  
"I'm pregnant, John. Almost two months. Thea and Lyla are the only ones that know. And now you." She said it all in a single breath.   
For a few moments he didn't say anything and when Felicity looked to him, his face was in complete astonishment. She then took a sharp breath in and let the tears fall down her cheeks.  
"Felicity..." he started but she held her hands up.  
"Don't be mad at them for not telling you, I'm the one at fault here. I decided and asked both of them to not say a thing about it because I felt like it was wrong to speak about it. And it was. For so many reasons." She just couldn't stop now. Not the words, or the tears.  
John grabbed her hands and pushed them down on her legs.  
"Does Oliver know?" he asked barely heard.  
"No. Yes. This Oliver doesn't. My Oliver fell down to one knee and gave me this when I told him" she said taking out her necklace and showing John the ring hanging lightly from it. "It was right before he got hit. Saving me for God's sake. Again." It was too much already. All the pain and suffering she thought she let out when they came back to Starling was now back into her heart. She started crying, sobbing hard and not carrying that now she was not alone. She had John with her. Her friend, her brother.  
It was not to her surprise when John stood up and came to hug her tightly.  
"I am so sorry" she said between sobs.  
"Shh" he said stroking her hair while she cried on his shoulder.  
After minutes of uninterrupted sobbing, Felicity finally calmed down and apologized for wetting John's t-shirt.  
Shortly after she placed her ring back under her shirt, Thea entered the room shyly and smiled when she realized what had just happened. Felicity guessed that maybe now her heart was a little lighter knowing that she was no longer the only one knowing of the pregnancy.  
"I was about to go home and check on Oliver. Is everything okay?" Thea asked entering the room and closing the door behind her.  
"I think for now it is" John said standing up from the side of Felicity's bed.  
"We have to tell him" Felicity said couldn't being able to deny the feeling of déjà vu. "He already knows too much and leaving him with just that will not only bring him pain, but will also tear him away from us."  
Her voice was steady and determined even if her hands were shaking in her lap. She wanted to seem strong, not the fragile pregnant woman who just had her heart torn apart from her chest, but sadly, Thea and John's silence after her statement didn't make her justice.  
"And how do you plan on telling him everything?" John asked little more skeptically than Felicity expected.  
"Maybe we should just all meet at the same place and talk" Thea suggested.  
“Seems like the best idea so far” Felicity said.  
“And the only one…” Thea whispered more to herself.  
"I'll call Laurel and Roy. And Barry. We'll need them too for this one" John said taking his phone from his pocket.  
"So we are just going to gather everybody and tell him straight up all that happened in the last eight years?" Thea asked. "Hell, I don't even know half of it. Never mind the 5 years he spent on that damn island which nobody has any idea what was all about."  
"We might need to tell him some things in private" Felicity said in a small voice.  
"So we just tell him the essential and then everyone will talk to him separately" Thea concluded and after John and Felicity's approval they decided to meet at the old foundry under Verdant after 12.  
John started to call everybody and Thea left to check on Oliver. In the end, Felicity remained in her room with only her thoughts to wander. She began thinking of a way to tell Oliver all they've been through without causing more damage to either of them, but she knew it was futile. No way of telling him everything would ever spare the pain.  
...........................  
Oliver finished the shower and got dressed just in time to catch Thea entering the loft silently, like a cat. She saw him after closing the door and for a moment she even looked surprised.  
"I thought you were sleeping" she said looking around the room.  
"I woke up an hour ago" he responded raising an eyebrow to her gesture. "Why are you here? Is everything alright?"  
"Felicity woke up. Barry and Diggle are with her right now" she answered while taking off her shoes. Leaving her purse on the counter, she opened the fridge and took a long look inside of it. "How come we only have wine and ketchup?"  
"Don't ask me. You're the one who lives here. And don't change the subject. How is she?"  
He took a sit near the table and waited for his sister to reply.  
"She’s alright. At least the doctors say so. And they also talk about leaving her to go home today, so that might as well mean the same thing" she said closing the fridge's door with a sigh. "I'm so hungry."  
"I'll order something. Pizza?" he asked while looking around in the room for the phone.  
"Definitely pizza."  
"It goes perfect with a glass of wine and one of truth, doesn't it?"  
"Ooh" she said laughing. "I see what you are doing but that isn’t going to happen."  
"And why is that?" he asked looking straight into her eyes with emotionless expression.  
"That's because after I take a shower and we eat something, we are going to see the team" she said and she was already going up the stairs.  
"The team? Thea, what do you mean?" He asked confused.  
"I still don't hear you ordering pizza!" she shouted from the bathroom right before closing the door.  
Oliver remained alone in the kitchen with his mouth slightly open and a head full of questions. Reaching for the phone and dialing for pizza, he realized his day was about to become more twisted than it already was.  
........  
"This was way more than I could have normally eaten" Thea said after she finished her last piece of pizza.  
Oliver, whose appetite seemed to be forever lost, looked at his sister with disbelief.  
"You can have mine too if you want" he said pushing his left half of pizza towards her.  
"No, thank you" she said smiling and standing up from the table. She then took her phone and looked straight at the screen for a few moments.  
"Is anything wrong?" Oliver asked feeling her silence hard on his shoulders.  
"No. Nothing. Diggle told me the doctors just cleared Felicity out. They're heading to the foundry right now."  
"Where?"  
"You'll see. Come on, we got to go" she said taking her keys and heading to the door.  
Oliver stood up from the counter and followed her.  
"Wait" he said stopping on his tracks.  
Thea turned looking at him like she was expecting him to say something at some point. "How am I supposed to believe anything you tell me now?"  
"Oliver..."  
"No, let me finish. I trust you, with my life, with anything" he started to which Thea's eyes softened. "You are my sister. I love you and I know you love me too. And that's why you choose to lie and hide the truth from me when I woke up. You and the other two people I barely know but have so many feelings for, feelings I don't even begin to understand." He stopped and took a deep breath to slow his heart's rhythm that's been going crazy since he realized what was about to happen. "But I'm not going to break, Thea. I don't remember how, but I've changed. I'm not the same spoiled and selfish teen I was 8 years ago, I can feel it. That's why, when all of you will tell me what has been going on, I beg you, let it all be the truth, because it can't be worse than what I've imagined for the past few days already."  
"I can't promise you that. Not even when I don't know the whole story" she said smiling but with her voice small and her eyes teary.  
For a moment there Oliver saw Thea the way he truly remembered her, so little and fragile. But the moment was gone when she blinked her tears away.  
"But about the other things, that I can promise" she said walking towards him and hugging him.  
Oliver embraced his sister tightly and when he closed his eyes, he saw her running down the stairs of their old house, with her hair tangling in the air and a smile wide on her face. "I knew it. I knew you were alive" she said and jumped into his arms.  
Opening his eyes, he broke the hug and looked at his sister stunned.  
"What?" she asked worried.  
"Nothing, I just... nothing" he said turning his head away and going to the door.  
"Okay. Then we should go" Thea responded after a moment of doubt.  
And with that they both left the apartment to meet what Oliver hoped in his heart to be his true life.  
............................................  
Being down there again brought both happiness and sadness into Felicity's heart. But not in equal measures.  
While she walked down the stairs, hearing the sound of her heels clicking on the steel, she felt like home. All those moments when they saved the city from a merely theft or from a crazy psychopath came back to her mind and she smiled. It was in that times that she began to fell useful and needed for the first time in her life. And more than that, she came to understand the true meaning of friendship, family and love. Events that occurred learned her how to properly cherish her life and the one's of the people she cared about. Felicity felt the fire burst into her soul again and the eagerness of doing something for the city tingling her fingers.  
But then Diggle, who was in front of her, turned up the lights and her smile faded and the fire died out in a second. Everything that was broken or shattered was gone, cleaned maybe by Dig or Thea, but it didn't make anything better.  
Their foundry was abandoned. Only half of the light bulbs worked, her computers gone and his chair the only one near the empty tables where they used to place their chemical and biological samples and where he made his arrows. The salmon ladder was there, unharmed, but the steel bar was gone, maybe took by the police for investigation, like they did with most of their things when they broke in with a search warrant.  
It took only a glance over the whole place for her heart to sink. For a moment she lost her breath, feeling the hole in her heart spreading all over her chest and she realized that now the only things she could do for her city were to run the company and occasionally help the others with information only she could find. Her life as a heroine hacker ended on the day she began to share her body with another human being, one that needed protection and safety. She won't let her child into the hands of the danger ever again.  
Taking a deep breath, she let herself fall into his chair. She brought her knees to her chest and looked at Diggle, how he was pacing around impatiently, rubbing his hands and looking straight to the floor. Felicity then realized that even if Oliver lost his memories, Diggle didn't and the disappointment and anger he held for so long were still inside of him, trying to burst out. She saw how hard he was trying to chase them away and she was prepared to tell him something encouraging when the door opened with a loud click and both their gazes flew to the stairs' end.  
"Barry and Cisco are on their way right now" Laurel said literally running down the stairs. "Thea called too and told me they are heading here and will arrive in 5."  
Felicity couldn't deny the feeling of relief that eased her shoulders seeing the other woman entering instead of him. She was not ready for all of this to begin. It felt like an upcoming disaster and she hated it.  
John didn't say a thing but he nodded and continued to walk around.  
"Please stop. You're making me dizzy" Felicity told him and bringing a hand to her forehead.  
"Sorry. I forgot" he said stopping and coming next to her.  
Laurel looked like she wanted to ask what was the thing that John forgot but then the door opened again and Barry appeared near them moments before the door closed back.  
"Sorry for being late, I had to drop Cisco at the train station" he said checking his watch. "Well, I'm not late at all. That's new."  
"Cisco left?" Laurel asked him and Felicity could literally feel the disappointment in her voice. It was a strange thing to hear and she made a promise to herself to ask Laurel what was it about her and the mechanical engineer.  
"Yeah. He got a call from Caitlin saying something about an emergency. I didn't hear the talk but he assured me that it was nothing serious so I decided to remain for the time being."  
"Hopefully, it won't take long and soon enough you can go home, Barry. You are needed there" John said without looking at the boy.  
"Not more than I am needed here now, that's for sure" he said looking straight at Felicity.  
Felicity knew what kind of emergency Caitlin called about. Or at least she thought she knew. Cisco told her that the chances of him and Caitlin being meta-humans were small but existent and it was enough for anyone to freak out.  
"Thank you" she said pressing her hand on Barry's arm. He smiled and nodded and it was enough.  
The third time the door opened, Felicity kept her head in place, not daring to look up, already knowing whose steps were walking down the stairs.  
"Hey guys" Thea's voice was heard. "Are we going to do this or not?" she asked and Felicity felt as if the question was referred to her alone so she raised her head and looked straight into the girl's eyes. She was waiting for an approval and Felicity had to force herself to nod properly before looking at him. She didn't expect to find his eyes already on her. Oliver was not looking at the strange cave he built three years ago and didn't remember now, he didn't stare at the strange gathering of people he alone brought together with his own vendetta of saving the city, a mission he no longer recalled. No. He was looking at her. At the small and powerless human being he encountered when he first stepped into her office holding in hand a laptop filled with bullet holes.  
The intense stare he gave her made her skin tickle. She tried to look away from his blue gaze but failed miserably. Finally, he took his eyes away and looked at the others that were already carefully watching him. She was grateful, letting out a breath she wasn’t aware of holding.  
"Where is Roy?" Thea asked and looked at everyone in turn, expecting an answer.  
"Here" a voice was heart from the back entrance and Roy appeared with a bag in his hand. "I brought these" he said placing the bag on the table near Felicity.  
"What's that?" John asked but before Roy could answer Felicity was already opening it and taking out Oliver's made on order bow.  
"Someone needed to take it back soon anyway and I figured it would help" he said a little shyly, like he didn't want to make a fuss about it. Felicity kept on staring at the bow unable to say anything or leave it down.  
"Was- was that mine?" Oliver asked chocking on his own words.  
For a moment there nobody said anything, all of them too shocked by his question to even respond to it. Diggle was the first to make a move. He walked near the table and took the bow from Felicity's hands to later place it in Oliver's. The other man looked surprised by the gesture but took a strong hold on the weapon he held so many times in the past.  
"Yes, it was. Like many other things you don't remember" Diggle said calmly.  
Oliver looked at the bow, then for the first time at the room he was in and then back at the people around him, eyeing every single one of them.  
"I want to know everything" he said and his steel voice and determination made Felicity hope that maybe the Oliver she fell in love with was not completely gone.  
"Okay then" John said sighing. "It all started when you went on the Queen's Gambit with your father and Sara Lance eight years ago."  
........  
It lasted more than Felicity would have liked it to and by the time John was finished she felt drained of her strength. He told him all that he knew about the life Oliver had on the island and in Hong Kong. When he reached to the time he returned, Felicity was asked to help and tell what happened during the Undertaking, the Siege and the Bio Weapon attack from last year. Laurel and Thea were of great help when needed because they were people that Oliver already knew, but Barry and Roy didn't prove less efficient, both of them having had Oliver as a model when they started their life as masked heroes. The hardest thing was to explain him why the people he loved so much died. It was never an easy thing to do.  
But what everyone omitted intentionally was his love life. Nobody said a word about the relationships with women he had during the island or since he returned, and for God's sake, Felicity knew they were many. She guessed that they were all expecting her to have that conversation with him in private, but she had no intention of doing that anytime soon.  
And like that the whole story was told and, surprisingly, Oliver listened carefully without interrupting once. He held the bow in his hand the whole time. Felicity believed it was unintentionally or that maybe he felt safer that way, believing he had control over the whole situation, especially when things got more complicated than he could handle.  
"After you killed Ra's and the rest of us took down the virus, you gave up the hood and left the city. And that's when the accident happened" Thea said finishing the story. She looked at her brother with concern in her eyes. Oliver looked straight at the floor for a moment and then raised his head and looked at the ceiling.  
"So tell me if I'm right" he began bringing his glance back at his sister. "We've had a machine that makes earthquakes, sorry, two machines, a drug, called Mirakuru, that turns normal people into soldiers with super strength, a guy strucked by a lighting that got super speed, a magical fountain that brings people back to life and a virus that if released in air, can kill thousands of people. My dad killed himself so that I could live, I spent five years on an island where I became a criminal and made some friends that turned into enemies and after that, I retuned and I decided to take down a list of people my father left me, people that have wronged the city. Then I met you two" he said pointing towards Diggle and Felicity. "You" he continued looking at Roy, "were Thea's boyfriend and because you were injected with the Mirakuru drug, I saved you and brought you into the team."  
"Kind of" Roy said nodding.  
"My mother died by the hand of my ex best friend from the island so that me and my sister could live. Sara, who was supposed to be dead when the boat went down, turned out to be alive on the island during the second year, but died again so she could surprise us one more time two years ago. That didn't take long though, because she was killed again. And then you decided to take on her legacy and become a vigilante on your own" he said looking at Laurel." But then, Sara wasn't just killed. She was killed by Thea, drugged to do so by Malcolm Merlyn, who is also her father and the mass criminal that produced the earthquake machine which killed Tommy, and who is now Ra's. Speaking of Ra's, he was Sara's girlfriend's father and the one that tried to kill me in combat, thing that he almost succeeded. And because of that almost, then he wanted me to become his heir but because I refused he almost killed Thea and turned me into a public threat. The police tried to catch me and that's when Roy took the blame for me and died in prison. Gladly, you look very much alive, which I find calming. Yet, to bring Thea back to live, I had to accept the offer and become evil. I did some wrong things, lost your trust" he said looking at John, "but then it turned out it has been all just a plan to kill Ra's, which I did and then left town."  
"Yeah, you got everything right. More or less" Thea said looking uncomfortable.  
"But I still don't get what's the deal with you in this mess" Oliver said looking at Barry.  
"Well, to begin with, I'm not from around here, so clearly my participation into everything that's been going on has been smaller than anyone's" Barry told him scratching his head.  
"So?"  
"Barry first came to Starling city two years ago, helping us with a case about a Mirakuru soldier" Felicity said stepping forward and taking everybody by surprise. "Because of some complications, you almost got yourself killed so we, me and Dig, had to reveal your secret identity to him and ask his help. Eventually, he saved your life. Then he returned to Central City and we kept in touch."  
"Yeah, we remained very good friends" Barry said and looked grateful at Felicity. "But as soon as I returned home I got hit by a lightning and stayed into a coma for nine months" Barry continued. "When I woke up I found out a I had super speed and became a hero, with your help of course."  
"My help?" raising an eyebrow.  
"With some very good advices" Barry said nodding rapidly.  
"Okay. That was not as weird as I expected."  
Oliver took his eyes from the people around him and continued to analyze the lair. Diggle changed a look with Felicity, telling her telepathically that she has to deal with the rest as soon as she felt like it, but before Felicity could respond back with a very denying and refusing look, he turned his back on her and started walking towards the stairs.  
"I am going to hit the streets now. Anyone caring to join? He said starting to climb up the stairs. Laurel looked after him for a second and then followed him, without saying any word.  
"If I remember well, and I usually do, I think I have some business to take care of too" Thea said and began to walk backwards.  
"Not so soon Mrs. Queen" Felicity told her and the girl stopped on her tracks. Felicity walked towards her. "Why is everyone leaving? What is going on?" she asked barely a whisper so Oliver wouldn't hear her anxiety of being alone with him.  
"Not everybody is leaving. Roy isn't" Thea answered in defense.  
"Actually I was planning to came after you" Roy said looking half guilty and half embarrassed.  
Thea gave him a look that clearly said "not helping". "Barry is still here. And Ollie."  
Felicity changed her weight from one foot to another and looked not at all pleased at the young Queen. She knew what was the plan. To leave her there with Oliver in hope of talking through to him. Barry could always run away in mere seconds and leave her there alone with a stupid excuse, but she couldn't. And neither did Oliver. Thea smiled apologetically and then left, with Roy behind her.   
"Thank you" Barry said, now standing right beside her.  
"For what?"  
"Earlier I was caught off guard and you got me out of it" he said scratching his head again. Felicity knew he was not feeling comfortable with any of it, like everyone else, but Barry was known for making everything obvious about him. It was his thing.  
"Oh, you're welcome" she told him smiling.  
Barry looked at her for a second before smiling back, a smile that barely reached his eyes.  
"Barry... Cisco told me about Eddie. I'm so sorry."  
"Yeah. Nobody should go through losing a friend" he said looking away from her. "But you know that already" he continued looking at Oliver.  
He was with his back turned at them, but from the position they figured he was looking at the salmon ladder.  
"How are you handling it?"  
"Well, taking into account everything, I'm pretty proud of myself. I cry like twice a day, and that in the good days" she started talking.  
"Felicity..."  
"I'm kidding. I'm not okay at all" she said and her voice was trembling. "I just got out of the hospital after being kidnapped and threatened with a gun by a man desperate to kill us. And I wasn't good before all of this either."  
She stopped and took a deep breath to calm down. She needed to stop if she wanted to be able to talk to Oliver. Tears were already in her eyes and she scolded herself for being so weak.  
"I'll be fine. I always am" she told Barry and looked at him smiling again. This time he didn't smile back at all, instead he hugged her and she was so grateful for that.  
"If you need anything, anytime, just let me know" he said breaking the hug.  
"I will."  
"Well, I have to go back to Central City and figure out my life. Good luck with yours" he said looking again at Oliver, which was now with his face turned to them, watching everything that was happening from the other side of the foundry.  
"Thanks... I'll need it" she told him with her eyes on Oliver.  
Barry touched her shoulder and finally smiled. It was small and sad, but at least it was there.  
"Goodbye Felicity."  
"Goodbye Barry" she said looking back to him but he was already gone and now she was all alone with the man she loved but who didn't remember her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.” - Oliver Queen  
> And when I quote this I’m not referring to the waiting you guys endured, but to my inspiration. It might come slow as a snail but when it does come, it brings passion and beautiful moments. and tears in my eyes, that’s for sure. I’m so sorry it took me so long to post this chapter, I’m afraid to even count the days… It’s been a long time. This was an easy chapter, a lot of truth and feelings though from everybody, it kind of cleared out the mess they created in the first chapter. Kind of. Felicity still has a lot to tell Oliver and I bet it’ll be very emotional to write their dialogue. I’m wondering what happened to Slade though… well then, I hope that you enjoyed the chapter and please leave your opinion in the comments :D thank you! Take care guys!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> So this is my first fanfic and I really hope you liked it. Feel free to comment and give me advice referring to anything you find wrong, but please don’t be harsh. I know it was cheesy at the beginning but I promise you, the action is on its way, as you can see from the final paragraphs. Love you <3


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